Post # 1
Should both me and my fiance have equal say in which areas we want to look for apartments or townhomes? He makes significantly more than me and works downtown. My fiance has a great system right now where he takes a train that goes into and out of town. The train station is very convenient and unfortunately there is not another station anywhere else. I currently have an apartment that is 30 mins from my fiance but 3 miles from my work. What are some suggestions on how we choose a new location to start our married life? He is the sweetest man but seems very set on staying in his area (though he wants to purchase a new apartment). There would be only 3 neighboring areas we would have as options and unfortunately moving downtown is too expensive. I don’t hate the location he is in now but it’s not the nicest or the safest. I am just so conflicted. I feel like I should have more of a voice than I do because I have a dislike for the aesthetics of the area he is in and most importantly that will place me 30 mins from my own work.
From what I understand, the train is saving him a lot of gas money and he wants to keep that as his transportation option. Realistically, it would make sense to find a place halfway but aren’t many great areas in between. Also, the train leaves at 7:10 and that is the last train into town. I feel like I am inconveniencing him but I feel like there has to be a better option.
Post # 2
Go see places that he likes and that you like. Don’t make and quick decisions and discuss options after the viewings. There should be ample communication.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
It’s tough. We had a similar problem when buying a house. I’ve been driving 35+ miles each way to work every day for 5 years while living ith my parents. He’s been driving 4 miles to work. His work is 30 miles from my work so we pretty much had no choice but to look “in the middle”. I wanted to look a little closer to his work (20mi for me, 10mi for him) because it’s closer to a nice town but all the houses in that area that we could afford were old – lots of charm but lots of upkeep and we really like a modern style and open concept. The town has been there for a long time so that’s just how it was. The homes outside the town on the side I wanted to be on were mostly 100k over our budget. In the end we ended up 12 miles from my work and 15 miles from his. I feel a little bad because he now has a much longer commute than he’s used to but it cut mine so much and will save me lots in gas/tolls. I’m also more “tied down” to my job than he is and I make a lot more so it worked out. There are plenty of oppertunites out my direction for him if he hates the commute and decides he wants to do something else.
Post # 4
llcoolray: Both of you make a list of some important factors about the new place you want to live in and go from there. Determine which ones are deal breakers and which ones can be worked around.
My husband just moved into my house, but had we been considering a new place this is what would have gone in our thought process.
-school district: is it near a good school? Do the school schedules affect the streets surrounding the house? this is more for down the road and if you plan on having children.
-trash/recycle pick up: are you located in a place where it will be affected? My husband and I live on the corner lot of two dead end streets, so we get to hear the garbage people 5 times by our house because of our location.
-work distance: what is best for you? You mentioned it above, but it still should be on the list. What’s the middle ground for y’all?
-neighborhood: what about the crime rate? Is it low where y’all are looking or live currently? Neighborhood watch? Do the neighbors watch out for each other? Do the neighbors seem friendly? Are there lots of kids or not? If you don’t plan on having kids, and end being surrounded by kids, or if you don’t like kids, you may not want to be around kids.
-cost: can you afford where you want to live? Or maintaining where you want to live wiht a combined income?
these are valid things to think about before moving.
Post # 5
30 minutes it’s not much imo, a pretty standard commute. Does he have a car and just wants to save gas money? Or would he have to buy a car if he had to drive to work? If this is the case I can understand not wanting to move from a train station. And also cost of parking down town can be quite expensive. For us, downtown parking is about $400/month so I would completely understand not wanting to add that expense.
Either way, yes you both should get a say and reach a compromise that is the best for the two of you as a unit.
Post # 6
llcoolray: Picking a location is hard! You should both have input, but it’s also one of those things where fair does not always mean equal. He should be open to looking at different areas than his current location, but if taking the train is a priority (and means big savings on parking and such), then I would also make that a big factor in where you choose. You should also both get to have a couple “dealbreakers” within reason (which would not include restricting your search to one neighborhood). While your ultimate choice may not meet both of your criteria equally, as long as you respect each others’ dealbreakers, you should be able to find something you can both be satisfied with.
Post # 7
you should both have input. sit down and figure out what your budget is, and what each of your “wish lists” is: top 5 things you want personally in a home/location. then try to find something that hits as many overlapping points as possible.