Post # 1
I’m going to explain at length below, but if you don’t want to read everything the basic question is whether all bridal party members must be invited to all pre-wedding parties even if it would inconvenience them to come?
My parents are going to host an engagement party for Fiance and I. The intent is to have a casual “getting to know everyone” party. We are letting people know via word of mouth that we don’t expect any gifts.
Most of my family from where I grew up will be invited. We’ve also decided to invite FIs parents, siblings and aunts and uncles who are within driving distance and could spend the night at my parents house if necessary.
We had not intended on inviting bridal party (except for my sister and his siblings) but when Imentioned the party to my best friend (the only other bridal party member on my side) she expressed an interest in attending even though they’d need to get plane tickets and a hotel room. This is fine with me and FI, but we are unsure whether we should invite the other 2 people on his side. We don’t want them to think they have to come, but we don’t want them to feel left out either.
Post # 3
I’d go ahead and invite them – after all, as you said, if they can’t come they probably won’t and that way you don’t risk any hurt feelings.
Post # 4
It makes perfect sense to include them! I would feel left out if I was in your bridal party and wasn’t invited.
I think you should invite them, and say something like “we wanted to invite you to celebrate with us, but please know that if you are unable to make it, we totally understand.”
Post # 5
@sweet5k: I would definitely invite to be polite, but I would also express that you understand they don’t live close and don’t want anyone to feel obligated to attend.
Post # 6
I agree with PPs — invite them! You’re risking hurt feelings if you don’t.
Post # 7
They should definitely be invited. I would just let them know that you understand they’d need to travel & just wanted to extend an invitation in case they could make it.
Post # 8
Of course they should be invited. It’s an invitation, not a summons. Most people know that just because they’re invited to something, doesn’t mean they’re expected to turn up if it’s an inconvenience.
If you’ve been reasonable in your expectations up until now, there’s no reason why they wouldn’t feel able to turn down the invite!
Post # 9
Thanks for the quick responses everyone :-). I’ll be sure to invite them, but be clear that they shouldn’t feel they need to attend if it’s too difficult. And if they do surprise us and come we’d be happy to have them. Plus it might give us an opportunity to go bm dress shopping together if everyone shows (we are having a very untraditional bridal party with 1 guy and 5 women, so coordinating dresses will be tricky if we never actually get in the same place).
Post # 10
i’d invite them and leave the choice to them. Let them know you don’t expect them to travel, you just wanted to extend the invitation/let them know the party is happening.