Post # 1
I am sure someone has already posted about this but I couldn’t find it.
I don’t want the bridesmaids or the groomsmen and ushers to bring guests to the wedding. The reason for this is that there are 5 bridesmaids, 5 groomsmen, and 2 ushers. All of them are single except two married bridesmaids. I don’t want to pay for the extra guests ($45 each) especially because the guys are all friends, 2 of the girls don’t mind, 2 are married, and 1 is family. I feel like they don’t need a guest because they will know other people at the wedding.
Another reason that I don’t want them to bring guests is that I feel like they will be busy. Isn’t it rude to make a guest, unlikely to know anyone but their date, sit by themselves during the ceremony, at the cocktail hour during pictures, and at dinner (since their date will be at the head table)? I feel like the only time the bm/gm will spend with their date would be after dinner on the dance floor. And like I said, they all know eachother so they won’t be lonely.
Remember, the groomsmen are all single and they are the only ones who want to bring dates. One of them very recently started seeing someone and she has met the other groomsmen but not myself or anyone else who will be at the wedding.
What are your thoughts, hive? Is it mean of me to tell the bridal party that they can’t bring a guest?
Post # 3
In my opinion the wedding party should be the exception to the no guest rule. They are shelling out a lot of money to take part in your wedding, and should get to bring a date. I understand that you don’t want to spend the extra $45/person, but is there anyway you can cut somewhere else?
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
Honestly, for me, it is very important that my bridal party is able to bring guests and sit with them at dinner. We aren’t having a head table, because I know that not everyone in my Bridal Party really knows each other and would probably be much more comfortable sitting with the person they choose to bring. In my situation, pretty much all of our Bridal Party is married, but even if they weren’t I’d want them to be able to bring someone, just because if I were in that situation, I know I’d want to be able to.
However, that being said, if you simply can’t afford to have them bring guests, that’s fine. There really isn’t a hard and fast etiquette rule about this, it’s kind of just what works best for everyone. If you don’t think you can swing it, then just tell them that you’re sorry but you simply cannot afford it.
Post # 5
I think your bridal party should be given the option of bringing a guest if they want to. They may very well think the same things you are saying, and not really have a reason to bring a guest, especially since you say most of them are single. I would mention to them the points that you brought up (the guys are all friends, their guest would be by themselves, etc.) and let them decide on their own.
Post # 6
Your bridal party should definitely be able to bring guests!!!!!! They are going to a lot of expense & effort for you & your new husband, so the least you should do is let them bring a guest so they can have a little more fun at the reception, have their special someone there to dance with, etc. Guests of bridal party people always know that their SO is going to be busy so they come with the appropriate expectations and usually band together to chat and hang out while waiting for pictures, etc.
You may be surprised and some of your bridal party may choose not to bring someone, but they should be given the option to decide for themselves.
Post # 7
I agree with the pp. Your bridal party should be the exception. We are not having a head table and we are giving everyone invited the option to bring a plus one if they are single. We are word of mouthing though that we would prefer that the plus ones not be in any formal pictures, unless they are in a serious reltaionship.
Post # 8
The only time they should be allowed to bring guests is if they are engaged, married, or in a serious relationship. Otherwise you will have random people at your wedding whom you don’t care about and who don’t care about you. Weddings are expensive on their own without providing for extra people whom you will never see or socialize with again.
The majority of adults do know how to (and do) entertain themselves and socialize with others without having to bring friends along who don’t know the couple to keep them company. If they aren’t able to, they are better off declining the invite and doing something else.
Post # 9
I have heard before that the bridal party is usually the exception to the plus one rule like hisbarista said. I haven’t specifically told them that they can’t bring guests I just wanted to get your opinions before I decided. I told the guys that if they want to bring a guest they just need to let me know so that I can work out the dinner seating arrangements. I reminded them that their guest would be sitting by themselves at the ceremony and during pictures.
I guess what I am getting at is that I don’t really want them to bring somebody just for the sake of bringing somebody. If they have a close friend/girlfriend/etc that is different. I had to cut out some family and a lot of my own friends just to get the guest list under 200 when we only wanted 120 to begin with. So I don’t want random people we don’t know at the wedding.
Thanks for your input!
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club
I think that ultimately it is up to you, but I would probably let them have the “and guest” option. If, like you said, they are all single and not really with people, then if I were a bm/gm, I probably would just not invite someone. Also, right now its only January, and a lot can happen in 5 months! Some of the Bridal Party members might be in a serious relationship at that point…just a thought…obviously it is just my opinion, but I’d give them the option (all the while hoping that they might not add the guest!)! Good luck!
Post # 11
I agree with the other posters. I think your bridal party should be the exception to the guest rule. I understand that it may be for financial reasons but they are spending money to be a prt of your big day. If they want to bring a guest, I think they should be allowed. To be honest, if I were a bridesmaid and wasn’t allowed to bring a guest, I think I would be annoyed.
Post # 12
The last wedding that I was in was less than a year after I started dating Fiance. The bride invited him and my mom. There was an extended period were he was without me, but it definately made the evening worth all the work for me when I was able to dance with him.
The hour Fiance spent at a table with my mom, my boss and husband she was fighting with, was uncomfortable for him, but i certainly knew he loved me at that point.
Post # 13
I would give them the option because they ARE in your wedding party, two of my BM’s are single and I asked them if they will be bringing anyone and since they know how tight we are with money, they said they didnt need to bring anyone.
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
I honestly don’t think that they need to be an exception – I would go blanket with the “only engaged, living together or married” guests, but that is just my opinion
Post # 15
Just to add my 2 cents, I agree with others; the Wedding Party should be the exception to the rule. Plus, your not going to even notice the random people because you will be having so much fun & it will make you happy to see members of your Wedding Party having fun with their dates too.
We told all of our Wedding Party to bring a guest and in reality they didn’t want to bring random people either, so they just came by themselves. I think your friends like the gesture, but have faith that they arn’t just going to bring and Tom, Dick, or Harry. Even if they bring someone you don’t know, their guest will be someone they know & like; which will keep them a happy Wedding Party member 🙂
Post # 16
- Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!
I’m giving them all the “and guest” option, because truthfully, I’d be a little miffed at not being able to bring a date if I wanted. They’re taking the extra $$ to participate in the whole wedding shenanigans, so I’ll pay the extra $$ so that they have a date to dance with/hang out with at the wedding.
Perhaps that’s just my feeling because “and guest” is fairly standard in my area for bridal party.