Post # 1
Why is everything to do with weddings such a drama-filled minefield of stress???
So when I asked my friends to be bridesmaids some of them were like “oh I’ll definitely need to get my hair done, I can’t do anything with it” etc. so I know some of them definitely were wanting to also have a professional do their hair and/or makeup. Some of them are poor right now so I know some of them will also want to DIY.
I was originally planning to let everyone just decide on their own whether to pay or DIY. But now I’m concerned that some of them will get hair and makeup and look all fancy and nice and some people will look like they were just rescued from drowning and other people may look fine but be jealous of the girls who had the extra money to spend.
It looks like $150 per service is the average in my area which is INSANE and just plain disgusting. I can barely afford to get my own hair and makeup done at those inflated rates, considering they charge me twice as much because I need to have a trial done too.
So what the heck am I supposed to do? I forbid anyone from saying “just find a cheaper place.” There are no cheaper places. They all know what the market will bear and they all charge maximum $$$$$.
You’re also not allowed to suggest that paying for both services be their BM present. First of all, forcing them to get stuff done that literally only benefits me is not a present. And second of all, I’ve got a $50 budget for their presents, not freaking $300pp!
I would consider going TO a salon rather than having the hair/makeup people travel to the hotel IF that were an option. But can most salons accomodate 10 people at a time? (Me + 7 BM + 2 mothers) Did anyone go to a salon and find it to be anything other than an extremely stressful time-consuming trip they wish they hadn’t had to take on their wedding day?
Post # 3
Offer it to all the bridesmaids and the ones that want it can pay for it and the ones that don’t can do their own. That’s what I’m doing. That’s just the way it is.
Post # 4
Is there anyone in your family/friends who does hair that you can hire JUST for the bridesmaids? I do think girls should pay for hair but makeup should always be optional. I think plenty of girls feel more comfortable doing their own makeup vs. hair.
$150 is very steap and I agree that it’s too much to ask of them. It would be great if you could find a couple sylists to come over to the hotel/your house for their hair. Worse comes to worse, allow them to do their own hair. They should be pretty capable of getting it glam looking.
Post # 5
For my friends wedding, she gave us the option for both, but she isn’t requiring us to get it done since we have to pay for it, I think that’s more than fair. If someone is jealous that they can’t afford something and someone else can, that is their own personal problem. I’d love to get both done and I think I’m going to splurge and do it, but if it came down to me def not being able to afford it, I’m not going to be angry at anyone who got it done just because they have more money than me, that’s crazyyy! just give them the option and tell them it is def optional so they don’t feel pressure. That’s pretty standard and I can’t imagine anyone being upset about that.
ETA: if a bm showed up looking like a drowned rat and I was a bm who just got my hair and makeup done, I’d offer to help them do something with their hair! I’m not a sylist but me and my gf’s do each others hair a lot of times when we’re going out and we have an extra 1/2 hour or so to spare, think about that too!
Post # 6
Yeah I would just give them the option and leave it up to them. I’m sure none of your girls are going to end up looking like a drowned rat but if they do you can all pitch in to give her a hand. They will understand weddings are expensive and if you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it, simple as that.
Post # 7
It’s no different than wedding guests, some of whom will DIY and others who will go the professional route. It’s their face, their choice.
Post # 8
@TrousseauHorse: I was a BM in a NY wedding (hence, crazy like Baltimore area) and the salon was able to accomadate 8 BM’s and the bride. They all rotated between 3 stylists. Those waiting sipped coffee and had bagels provided by the bride. It’s possible. I wouldn’t worry about BM’s who can’t afford it being jealous of those who can. I have been in more weddings then Heinz has pickles, (12!!!) and there has never been an issue with that. Don’t dismiss the going to a salon idea. They want your business, they’ll call in extra people and make it work, trust me!
Post # 9
I’m from DC, so I feel your pain on the pricing.
I gave my girls the option of doing their makeup, but wanted all of them to get their hair done Because of this, I paid for their hair, and left the makeup cost up to them. It at least lessened the burden on all of us.
Post # 10
@TrousseauHorse: look for deals, like livingsocial.com or groupon.com they have those deals sometimes
Post # 11
Honestly I think even if it’s optional, the bride should pay for the bridesmaids’ hair and makeup; if it wasn’t for you wedding, they wouldn’t be needing professional hair and makeup, so it’s pretty rude to make them bear that cost. Yes, even if you make it optional. I know not everyone will agree with me, but I just can’t imagine making my friends come out of pocket for an event that is purely for my benefit.
You may want to look within your social circle, as you may find a makeup artist or a hairdresser, perhaps the SO of one of your guests. You might be able to get a much better rate than if you just started calling around. You could also consider throwing a makeup party, or a hair party, maybe part of the bachelorette, where you get a hairdresser or makeup artist to come and show your group how to be comfortable doing their own hair/makeup. It would probably be less expensive than having a stylist come out to do it on the day of, and everyone can take care of their own at no cost on the actual wedding day.
Post # 12
@TrousseauHorse: You can call the salon and ask about bringing X number of people. I was in a wedding where we all went to a salon to get our hair done. Where was probably about 10 of us total, and it went very smoothly. I even had time to run to the store to get champagne!
I think you should leave it up to your BMs on what they want to get done. That’s what I did for mine, and some girls got hair done and make-up done and others didn’t. And when all was said and done, everyone looked fabulous.
Plus, your BMs can always help each other if one is not particularly good with make-up.
Post # 13
@Horseradish: I understand your logic – but does that mean youre paying for your bridesmaids dresses and shoes as well? I’ve been in my fair share of weddings, and non of them have paid for my hair to get done.
Post # 14
@TrousseauHorse: Do you know anyone that does hair on the side? The girl that regularly does my hair does it out of her home. I hired her (and her assistant) to come to my house and do mine and my girls hair for the wedding and she only charged $30 for updos. Someone like that may be a bit cheaper than someone who is doing it for a living.
If your girls want to do it on their own there are so many tutorials out there (The Small Things Blog being one of my faves) that they won’t end up looking drowned rats.
Post # 15
Call around to salons. I didn’t even consider hiring someone, but I’m cheap. My hair + makeup was less than $100 with tip.
Post # 16
Awesome, thanks for the advice everybody! This is why I love weddingbee, cause my friends and family are like “if it’s too expensive just find a cheaper place!” without any knowledge of what they’re talking about. And I’m like argh, it’s not that easy!
I did some looking this morning for salons near where the wedding will be and there may be some options there. I found an Aveda salon that is definitely cheaper, more like $85pp plus tip. So that could be a possibility.
I feel like that is not the scariest number I’ve ever seen (although I’m pretty deep in this planning now so I don’t even know what kind of number would shock me anymore…) And everyone lives either here or somewhere even more expensive, so it’s not like people are used to paying small town prices.
Plus I thought about it some more and since I don’t have a particular look I want them all to have, pretty much any stylist should be able to do whatever random thing they want. So that makes me feel better about the idea of having multiple stylists working on them, as long as I know who I’m getting in advance.