Should childhood best friend be a bridesmaid?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
689 posts
Busy bee

devy2011:  Why can’t you just ask her point blank. Hey remember when we said were going to be in each others weddings? I would still like for that to happen.

Not so difficult. The worst she will say is no.

Post # 3
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee

devy2011:  The way to ask he is just that, ask her. Regardless of how much you see each other now if you envision her in your wedding just ask her if she would like to be your bridesmaid. 

Post # 4
Member
744 posts
Busy bee

devy2011:  Do you still want her in your wedding?  Unfortunately you can’t control whether you will be in hers.  I am assuming she is not engaged yet, and it wouldn’t be fair for her to make promises about her bridal party when she has no idea when it’s going to happen or what the circumstances may be at the time. 

I think you just need to decide whether or not YOU want her in your wedding, and not worry about the rest.  I would consider how much you really want her in the wedding though – if she is not a big part of your present and you don’t think she’ll be a big part of your future, I would probably just invite her as a guest.  I think when people choose bridesmaids based on history alone, they end up getting disappointed in the bridesmaid’s involvement in the wedding.

Post # 5
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Er, do you want her in your wedding? Your post almost seems to be asking if you HAVE to have her in your wedding. If you want her in it, ask away! Im sure she will be flattered. If you are asking if you HAVE to include her because of some promise you made years ago in school…no. Its your wedding, do whatever you want!

Post # 6
Member
1538 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

You should’t ask her only if she would ask you. That’s not really how it works. If you love her and want her to stand up with you, then ask her. When she gets married, she will get to decide whether she would like you to stand up with her. These decisions have nothing to do with one another. That being said, do you keep in touch? It seems like you don’t really. I wouldn’t ask someone I did not speak with on a regular basis, even if we used to be close. But, some people view bridesmaids differently. I preferred to have only family up there with me because they will always be in my life no matter what.

Post # 7
Member
3514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

devy2011:  Do you want her in the wedding> If you don’t do not feel bad!!! My childhood friend and I made the same promise to each other but over the last few years life as pulled us in different directions. She was present in the wedding and I made sure I got special pictures with her but that’s it. If you want her in your wedding go for it btu if not don’t feel bad about it.

Post # 8
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

devy2011:  being in someone’s bridal party is not a reciprocal thing. 

That said, it’s not you having each other in your bridal parties, it’s do you want her to be in yours? That’s the only question you have to answer for your wedding. If your invitation to her is contingent on her inviting you to be in her own bridal party, then I’d guess the answer is no, since you don’t just want her to be in your party.

Post # 9
Member
6032 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you want her in your wedding party then invite her to be in your wedding party (but be prepared for her to decline, because anyone you ask is always free to decline and someone with whom you have not been close for a while may feel that it is more appropriate to decline).

Do not make it contingent on her inviting you to be in her bridal party, and do not put her on the spot by asking if you’re going to be in each other’s. 

You are each free to invite whoever you want.

Post # 10
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Are you guys in the same area now? If so, that could be a nice way to respark the friendship (especially if you guys promised to be in each others weddings beforehand). If not, it could still do the same thing, but would just be less likely.

Post # 11
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

devy2011:  

Just ask her point blank. If you’re friends, there is no reason to be apprehensive. 

Not all childhood friends stay close to you forever and that’s okay. 

I am only close to one of my childhood friends and one friend from high school. 

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