(Closed) Should couple pick a engagement ring together?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@white_witch1457:  We went shopping together so my FI could see what I like. Then he customed designed mine based on the rings I loved. I think it is perfectly fine to go with him. Maybe you can compromise by looking together like we did and then he can take over from there to pick out the final one. Or you can show him some online. 

Post # 4
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I just recently went to pick out my engagement ring with my SO. We share finances, so there was no way he could hide the purchase from me, also, neither of us could get approved for a line of credit without the other, so we decided to do it together.

It was the best decision ever. I didn’t realize how pick I was about jewelry until I was looking at rings. Also, I have extremely tiny fingers, so some rings that I absolutely loved in the case, looked hideous and gaudy on my finger. Another issue was that my SO wanted a bigger stone that I did so I had to try some on to get a feel for whether or not the size he wanted was too big (it wasn’t.) We just picked up my ring on Thursday and I love it. I’m so glad that he included me on the purchase, and it’s not going to ruin any part of his proposal because he is still going to surprise me in a big way. 

If it were me, I would say GO FOR IT!

Post # 5
Member
4722 posts
Honey bee

I think it’s a great idea! I basically picked my own (with his approval) so I don’t see why you can’t go together. I think it’s a pretty common idea now, since there’s a billion different styles and you’re not going to like all of them. 

Post # 6
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Depends on the couple. Personally, my Fi took me to a couple jewelry shops so he could see the different styles on my hand and we determined together what kind of style we liked.  Then I left it to him to choose one with the style (solitaire).  So it was kind of half and half. We found a style together but he ultimately made the final decision 🙂

Post # 7
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

We picked out the ring together, and I’m glad we did! It’s a bonding experience, and you get what you want! Win-win!

Post # 8
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My FI and I went browsing together and looked at lots of rings at lots of stores, then he went and picked out the ring.  He totally fooled me, though, because he complained that the sales person at Helzberg was way too pushy, and he wouldn’t get a ring from them just for that reason (even though my favorite had been there).  I was okay with that, but he did go back there and get the ring.  I think it’s a good idea to go together to see what you like and how it looks on your finger, etc. 

Post # 9
Member
1784 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

There’s nothing wrong with picking it out together, and nothing wrong with wanting a surprise.  Do whichever feels better for you.

Post # 10
Member
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I love the idea of getting a ring that he picked just for me.  It was difficult to give up control but in the end it really worked out because he knows me so well, as soon as he saw my ring he knew it was for me 🙂  and it was I never would have picked for myself but as soon as I saw it I absolutly loved it! If you don’t want to pick it then don’t, don’t let your friends convince you other wise. 

Post # 11
Member
511 posts
Busy bee

You’re going to wear that ring for a very, very long time so it’s important that you like it. However, sometimes guys have even better taste than we do, so by all means they should be involved, if not take the lead..

I had only one stipulation – I wanted my engagement ring to go with my grandmother’s wedding ring (which is a plain 22kt yellow gold band.)  We looked at a few rings and quite frankly, I’m really glad we did.  His taste is way more modern than mine, and his requirements for a stone were way more expensive than I would have chosen.

So… I found a setting that I love and showed him.  He’s gone on his own and sourced the diamond for it, and my ring is being made as we speak (type?) It was a great experience that allowed me to get what I loved while allowing him to take the lead.  He’s also choosing his own band which will be completely different from my set.

It was a great learning/bonding experience that has only brought us closer, but I think that it’s different for every couple.  Learning to talk about finances together is a huge part of it which, I think, can only help you out later in your life together.

Post # 12
Member
1633 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

At the very least I’ve give  him some ideas of what you’d like and then leave it up to him from there on out. =)

Post # 13
Member
2894 posts
Sugar bee

There is no *should.* There’s only what the couple is comfortable with. That being said, we picked the ring out together. 

 

Post # 14
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree that its okay either way. I will say that my first e-ring I picked it… A very simple wrap band. I don’t wear jewelry and wanted something that could serve as my ering and wedding band.

After a few months, well guess what? Turns out I LIKE wearing jewelry, so my DH picked out a ring for me. It was not at all what I thought I would want (a round solitaire) but I cannot begin to say how much I LOVE IT!!! (I wear my original ring as my wedding band.)

My point is that you may be surprised and get something you love so much more than you thought you would if you let him choose!

Post # 15
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My fiance & I went together.  One of my best friends did it the same way.  Of course a surprise would have been nice too:) I think it just depends on the future bride.  If you aren’t picky then by all means let him loose, but if you are worried about it fitting your style there is nothing wrong with going as a couple.

Post # 16
Member
1868 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I picked mine out with my bf and am really glad I did. I love the ring and can’t wait for it to be on my hand. Not all surprises are good. Believe me, last thing you’d want is to not like the style of the ring that he surprises you would. Sentimental value aside, it’ll be on your hand every day -it should be something you love and is your style. 

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