(Closed) Should estranged father walk me down aisle?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

This is totally up to you, isn’t it? If you want him to ‘give you away’ then do so. If not, then don’t. Only you can tell if you’re close enough to ask your father to do this.

If he walks you down the isle and then you two go back to only seeing eachother once or twice a year then I don’t really see the point.

Perhaps you should think about working on the relationship before you get married? Because it might seema  bit fake to have him give you away and then not see him for the next 6 months.


Post # 4
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I was in your situation. He is not walking me down the aisle. We began to rekindle our relationship when I was 17 (so roughly 4.5 to 5 years), so just before Fiance and I met. It still isn’t and never will be that cute, enviable father-daughter relationship. I wouldn’t feel comfortable giving him such a large role. If anyone “deserved” to do it at my wedding, it would have been my mom.

However, Fiance and I are walking down together. That does two things – it solves the “who is walking me down” debate AND it symbolizes something important to us – that the two of us are choosing to enter this marriage together. I’m not being given away, as I am not anyone’s to be given. But that is probably just the feminist in me. 🙂

I think you should do whatever feels right to you. If you’re going to look back and regret him not doing it OR on the flipside, if you’ll regret that you let him if your relationship doesn’t progress satisfactorily, maybe look into some alternatives to tradition. Walk down together, have your mother or other relative walk you, walk by yourself and make an entrance. There are so many other possibilities!

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