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In my opinion that should only be for medical doctors, although I think it is also practiced for Phd graduates; however, we didn't address my FI as "Dr." for our invitation, we only used his name.
I've got a PhD in Molecular Biology and it didn't even cross my mind to put Dr. on the invite. I think it's kind of pretentious to always have to use your title in your personal life (Esquire, Dr., Prof. etc)- your family and friends don't care about your title!
I agree with rosychicklet - if I received a wedding invitation with the title Dr. on it (be it medical doctor OR PhD's) I would think it was quite pretentious. Weddings are about the couple - not about their titles.
I believe it's dependent on the formality of the wedding. If it's a white engraved invitation for a white tie evening wedding, I think etiquette states that you put the title on (all kinds of titles: Doctor, General, Esquire, etc.) for everyone who has one (happy couple and parents).
But my wedding is no where near that formal, and I really don't like using my PhD title, so I'm not putting it on my invite.
Do what you're comfortable with!
I always make it a point to include PhD's on our invitations. It's a honor to receive one. It's 4+ years of VERY hard work! But it really depends on the person. Some people (professors mostly) get really offended if you don't use "Dr. and Mrs." when addressing them. However, I have coworkers with their PhD's who would NEVER want you to call them Dr. That being said, if somebody overlooks it, I wouldn't think twice about it. It's hard to keep tabs on who has a PhD, etc, especially in the Engineering World.
Are you talking about your OWN invitation??? As in "Dr. and Mrs. are getting married?" Maybe I misunderstood the post. I would not include your own title on your own invitation...I thought you were discussing about addressing invitations. That being said, I'm sure your FI has lots of colleagues with PhD's, too.
I remember reading that etiquette dictates that an academic PhD should only be used in its proper context; medical doctors may use their titles at all times. Sorry, I can't remember where I found that particular rule!
Are you talking wording an invitation something like this:
Mr. and Mrs. Engaged request the honor of your presence at the marriage ceremony of their daughter Fabulously Marie to Dr. Chemical Engineering...
Gosh, I'm not sure. Maybe it should boil down to what he wants. There are a few Dr.s in my family. I usually address the phD as "Dr." on mail, because I think it's a nice gesture to him. On the other hand, if he was sending something and kept addressing himself as Dr., I would find it a bit nauseating.
If you put it on there, some folks will probably think, medical doctor. But if he really wants it, who's it really going to hurt?
If you're question is referring to addressing invitees - I would address them as Dr., whether they have a PhD or an MD. My dad is a professor at Columbia University and we are inviting many of his colleagues. Wow would they be offended if we wrote Mr. or Mrs. instead of Dr.! So I think it also depends on age and whether or not they are your friends or your parents's friends as using the proper title is a sign of respect. I have friends with both their PhD's and MD's and they could care less what we address them as, although I would still address them as Dr. regardless of the actual degree. That's just my experience and my opinion though!
I would refer to the etiquette books on this one for sure! My stb FIL has a PhD and my bro in law is an MD..and I wondered about this one..
I don't know the specific guidelines, but if I had earned a PhD I'd be using the Dr. all the time :)
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I think it is only for medical people
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Yeah my fiancee is a physician and we probably won't do the doctor thing on our invites (though when referring to his late father on the invite, who was a physiican we probably will...)
A few or our physician friends are getting married this summer so I think we'll take cues from them.
If it helps any my FI also has a PhD in Chem. Eng. as do the majority of his friends. Over the past few years we've been to a few weddings and 1 of the 4 used the Doctor designation in the wording of their invites. The one that did was a very formal affair.
We didn't use his formal title in the wording for our invites, however we will use the formal designation for any of our guests when we address the invites.
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Echoing ggsb - you should always address invites to anyone w/ a PHd or MD as "Dr." as well as judges ("Honorable").
i keep telling my fiance that when they introduced us after the ceremony they are going to have to say Mr. and Dr. i don't really want to, but it is fun to tease him!
maybe use John Doe, PhD? or John Doe, M.D.
In my country, it's normal for the degrees to be listed after the person's name.
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We left off the titles. I have several degrees... think MD PhD or MD MPH, and it just seemed silly. I rarely use the title in real life anyway and my patients call me by my first name. Though I think of myself as a physician at work, I don't think of myself that way in my personal life the same way.
Danaadell - I hadn't even thought of that yet, they'll announce us as "Dr. and Mrs." too. weird!
Yes, I was referring to my very fiance on our OWN wedding invitations...
Mr. & Mrs John Smith request the honor of their presence at the daughter of
Sara Smith to
Don Won or Dr. Don Won....
Anyway, my FI just wants his name written, without the Dr, so this makes my life easy.Though, we do have a formal enough wedding to include it if we wanted from what I can tell...
. Accordin to Emily Post, it seems she goes around in a circle on this whole thing. :-/ She says that if he were a medical dr. then "Dr." is always used. Then she says if it is a social setting, Dr. should be used no matter what degree out of respect... I don't know. When I go home from work, I'll have to post the whole thing because it just doesn't make sense. Basically, what it comes down to is, if he wants to use it, then use it.
I think we will incorporate the "Dr." when the priest announces us as Dr. & Mrs... and on our Thank you notes.
HTHs someone else!
I think you went the right way. If you aren't in a context where you are choosing between Dr. and Mr., it really makes no sense to include the title (whether for an MD or PhD). Assuming you hold some kind of degree (H/S, BA/S, MA/S) whatever, you are not listing that on your invite either.
So either it should be Miss Sara Smith to Dr Don Won
or
Sara Smith to Don Won
But why does he get a title and you don't?
Yes, I worked really hard for my degree, and in certain professional contexts I expect to be acknowledged as "Dr."...but Ms or Dr is fine socially (my friends think it's funny to use "Drs." for us)...and never when everyone els is just use their name without any title at all.
I wouldn't use it...
1. pretentious
2. oh, so you're marrying a doctor?
3. what kind of doctor is he?
4. OH, he's not a real doctor....
Kudos to your FI but I would find it pretentious and funny at the same time.
Good luck!
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I would do it for a MD, but not a PhD. Also, I'm married to a lawyer and he would NEVER put Esquire on anything...EVER. :)
lol. I just realized that my mock invitation made no sense whatso ever! oops! I type fast, and don't reread anything!
So that's not how you went? What did you choose? I'm curious b/c we have the same issue (we're both PhD's, his dad is an MD, both my folks are MDs). I lean toward first names for us. My Mom often uses Mrs. socially, so that could go either way, but I lean toward just using parents full names w/o titles as well (I htink that's mostly what I've seen, e.g.:
Mary and John Smith request your presence at the marriage of their daughter
Sara Smith to
Mike Jones
Son of Louise and Preston Jones.
BTW, we're date twins :)
Congrats to your FH on receiving his PhD. The use of "Dr." is well-deserved, and contrary to popular belief, is not reserved just for MDs. Anyone who has gone to a university and has had a "Dr." as a professor knows this.
That said, "Dr." is really intended for professional use. A wedding is very personal, and in my mind, I don't think Dr. should be used as in this capacity. Then again, it is *your* wedding, and if you both want to use "Dr.", go for it!
You solution is exactly what I would have suggested.
I think that you should use Doctor when appropriate, because that is a HUGE title and your FI worked very hard to get that title.
However, I don't think its right on the invitation. Because you don't have a title before your name.
If you were going to say:
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: tahoma; font-size: 13px">
Mr. & Mrs John Smith request the honor of their presence at the daughter of
MISS Sara Smith to
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: tahoma; font-size: 13px">DOCTOR Don Won....
then it would be ok. But if you don't have a title before your name, then he shouldn't have one before his.
However, for the other people out there who had similar questions, I think its ok to use Doctor in the title of the parents...
For example:
Doctor and Mrs. John Smith invite you to...
OR if you were to say:
Mr & Mrs John Smith invite you to the wedding of their daughter
Amy Lynn
to
Robert Lee Jones
son of Mr. and Doctor Jones....
I think that is an acceptable way to use Doctor, and you should really ask the person what they would like to be called. Some people always go by "Doctor" and others hardly use it. But its better to ask than to apologize after it has already been printed!
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My fiance just got his doctorate in December in Chemical Engineering.
Does anyone know, should he be listed as a "Dr." on the invitation, or would that only be for medical Dr.'s?