- 6 years ago
I am not sure how to handle this situation, but it is really upsetting me. Here goes:
Fiance had the same best friend (D) from the time they were toddlers until their early-mid twenties. D experienced a really rough childhood and was very mis-guided, so he ended up going down a bad road and went to prison before I met Fiance. So, D has been completely out of the picture throughout FI’s and my entire relationship.
Fiance and I are getting married in 50 days. We chose our bridal party, and finalized it, in December. We’d heard it through the grapevine that D was supposed to be getting out of prison in June, or so. However, Fiance did not choose D as best man because everytime, in the past, that D has been near his release date, he has done something to get his time extended (smoking marijuana, fighting, etc.). There was no guarantee that D would really be getting out in June, and we couldn’t wait until June to ask someone to be FI’s best man. So, Fiance asked his cousin’s Darling Husband (another childhood friend). Another big reason we did not think it would be a good idea to have D as best man is because, just being out of prison, he will have no means to travel to our Destination Wedding. Meaning, he would end up having to stay with us on our honeymoon. Umm, no thanks!
Ever since Future Brother-In-Law found out about FI’s choice of best man, he has had a crappy attitude and has been telling people, “That’s messed up that (FI) is being forced to have (FCIL’s DH) as his best man. D is his best friend!” He is insinuating (and probably actually saying) that I forced Fiance to choose FCIL’s Darling Husband as best man. Fiance chose his own best man! The actual best man got wind of Future Brother-In-Law saying this crap, and it made him feel bad… like he was some kind of backup choice. He even talked to Fiance about it. I am really, really tired of Future Brother-In-Law going around and making me look like this huge, controlling bitch. It’s getting to me so bad, because Future Brother-In-Law is in the wedding, and I DO NOT want someone standing up beside my husband and myself at the altar who clearly has a negative opinion of me. Just to clarify, Future Brother-In-Law has never really liked me.
He leaves his pregnant girlfriend sitting at home by herself all day, everyday, while he takes her car and runs around with his friends. I believe that he expects Fiance should be able to do the same. Anyway…
Future Father-In-Law was the last person to tell us that Future Brother-In-Law had ranted to him about my having “forced” Fiance to choose the “wrong” best man. That was Tuesday night, and I ended up having a complete meltdown. I told Fiance that he needs to talk to his brother and nip this in the bud immediately. He needs to let Future Brother-In-Law know that he is happy with his choice of best man, and that it is none of his business who he chose. But, Fiance is just so non-confrontational. I don’t know if he’ll actually do it, or not. If he doesn’t, these comments and rants from Future Brother-In-Law are going to persist. I’m actually a little scared that Future Brother-In-Law is going to end up bringing D to our wedding, anyway. Then, we’re going to have to babysit D throughout our entire honeymoon.
Do you guys think Fiance should say something to his brother, or should we just leave it alone?