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@MaggieGirl: Umm no? Theyll get over it and once the baby is here theyll associate the name with your baby...not some shitty coworker they had 20 years ago.
Here's a good way to get over that. Shock the system. Tell your parents you are thinking of some abhorrent name that you *really* are not considering. Pick out something stupid, like Egbert Sherman, and keep a completely straight face. Keep this going for 2 or 3 months.
Once they are convinced this is your name, anything else will be a relief, and they should leave you alone.
You can't please everyone.
You and your husband are the ones that will say your child's name the most/it will matter most to. I would only take our parents' thoughts into consideration if it was a REALLY strong dislike. For example: I love the name Evelyn, but it's my mom's birth mother's name so I would NEVER use it, both for my mom's sake and because I'd feel like I was being rude to my grandparents. But you see, that's a pretty extreme case.
I say they should get over it. In the interest of full disclosue though, I should add that my grandma successfully talked my mom out of naming me after my great-grandmother--Ragnahild! I am thankful for that, so as long as it is not terrible, go for it.
@JulesSchnooks: How did you guess our top-secret favorite boy name?! ;) You make me smile.
@JulesSchnooks: haha, thats something I would totally do if my family starting giving me crap about my future childs name!
@AmeliaBedelia: Why thank you! :-) I know my off-beat humor isn't for everyone. 
FYI: Im sure when Im pregnant and my FI and I are picking baby names, my FMIL will try and get us to name our baby something awful because she likes it. Ill probably just tell her "were still deciding" until the ink is dry on the birth certificate :p
I wish people didn't think it was ok to share their negative opinions on baby names. There's nothing I hate more than people asking "Have you thought of any more names yet?" and then sharing a name only to have them make a face and say "No.." or "Oh, I don't like that..". We've never been fans of crazy off the wall names, or names that sound new or made-up. We like traditional names like Jack, Henry, James, etc. I have learned from now on whenever an expecting couple shares the baby name the ONLY acceptable reaction is "Ohhh! How cute!" or something similarly supportive.
Um the only opinions that matter are yours and those of your husband. This is why a lot of people don't even tell anyone the baby name they choose until after the birth.
While I don't necessarily think grandparents should get veto power, I am VERY happy that my grandmother did when I was born. My parents were going to name me Hennah (no, not Hannah, Hennah) up until my grandmother got to the hospital while my mom was in labor. My grandmother HATED the name and suggested Caitlyn as an alternative. I'm much happier as a Caitlyn than I think I would be as a Hennah.
I think it's nice to have someone there for a reality check as CaitMarae mentioned, so I would take her seriously if she says the name is too weird or something.
They absolutely cannot veto every name that's the same name as someone else they know. I used to work for this crazy alcoholic lady, she was unbearable and super awkward to be around and my friends and I used to joke about her and use her name a lot. When my neice was born, guess what her name ended up being! Even though she has the same name as arguably the most insane person I've ever met, she's never once "reminded" me of the woman. Now when I hear that name I only think of my neice :)
I think it depends on the reason. Once knew a co-worker with that name- not good reason. Was sexually assulted by someone with that name- good reason, veto granted.
I know a few coupleswhat had issues with their family and the names they wanted to us so what they did was tell people thehadn't not picked a name yet and once the baby was borntans named they told people
I wouldn't talk about baby names with anyone anymore. And no, no one gets a say except you and hubs.
On the one hand, I think that no one should be able to veto names except you and your husband. It is your child and you need to make a decision you are happy with.
That being said, my parents wanted to name me after an 80's popstar if I was a boy because the year of my birth this popstar "was not that famous". Not giving away too much *cough* I already had enough jokes through the years asking if I was related, why I wasn't name "Janet" and how it felt singing "ABC". Yeah.
I'm glad my nana convinced my mom that would be a bad idea.
THAT being said my nana named my uncle Kimberley and when he was 16 he legally changed his name. And my dad is known my his middle name because he was given the same name as his grandfather and it was too confusing for the family.
I guess my family just SUCKS at picking out names!
@takemyhand: Kimberley for a man?! Oh dear. That should have been vetoed, but for the situation OP was talking about (the name reminds her parents of someone else), it's really not appropriate for them to comment that way.
I don't think anyone but the people who convieved the child get veto power. Your mom can express you opinion and then you guys can decide what to do from there, but she shouldn't get ultimate veto abilities.
@redheadem: I've met a few men named Kim.
I think Grandmas do not have veto power... or anyone else, for that matter, besides the mom-to-be and the dad-to-be.
I think that Grandmas who give reality checks are ok, if you are naming your son something off the wall. BUT if you still want to name him that, then you should.
If you really like this name, I would go ahead and give him the name. The grandmother's love for her new grandson will override the person that she doesn't like with this name. In the future, once he is born, she'll associate that name with your son and she will get over it!
For people (other than the parents) that say, "Oh don't name them _ because it reminds me of _" Tell them that one the baby is born - the baby will be the most important person with that name. They will forget about the other person and every time they hear the name from then on - they will think of the baby.
This is the very reason why I refuse to tell anyone our names (once we pick them)! Everyone will know someone that knows someone with a name and not like it.
I would tell my Mom, "Well, now you have all the time in the world to reassociate the name with your grandson." But I'd wait until I've already given birth and he's already named IF I don't want an arguement!
Put it this way, I told my mom two of the names we were thinking of naming our son. She really didnt care for either name. The funny thing is one of the names is the actual name of our son. She loves this little boy like no tomorrow and is okay with his name now. It is hard to associate a person's name without seeing said person/baby. So I say go with what you like.
I read the book Roots recently, found it in a second hand shop, and I came across an interesting passage on naming babies. Apparently the Gambian/tribal tradition was for the father to decide the name then whisper the name into the baby's ear with nobody else around, the idea being that each person ought to be the first to know his/her own name.
With modification to include both parents in the choosing and whispering of the name, I think there's something very lovely about this idea and even with a complete lack of any african heritage, we've decided to do this. We have told some of our friends and family some of the names we're considering, but don't want to actually decide on names until babas are born in case our pre-chosen names don't fit right. So names will be actually decided hopefully soon after birth and communicated to their owners before anyone else.
That said, I completely agree with Roux's point. Vetoes only need be allowed where there is an overwhelming case for them.
@Roux: That is a very good point, we actually had a situation like that with a relative, it was quite awkward for me. But thank god she decided on the other boy name she was considering and I never had to share with her the fact that the other name literally gave me nightmares.
@JulesSchnooks: lol. LOVE it! I am totally going to tell my family we are naming our future child Egbert and not change it until the day they are born. Which will be especially fun if we end up having a girl!
We found it very hard to name our son. I knew from 15 weeks I was having a boy, and he was three days old before he was named. And in the end, he was given a name that wasn't on the final list. He didnt look like any of those names. Eventually, my partner said that we HAD to name him, everyone was asking. And I just spoke his name, and it stuck, and I love it. It suits him down to the ground. His name is Owen.
My sister was having trouble naming her second born, she she let our parents choose a first name, and her husbands mother got to choose the second. What name did the child end up with? Elijah Beaumont. I like the name Elijah, he gets Elye for short. But Beaumont for a middle name? And where did it come from? It was my BIL's high school principal. Disasterous IMO.
Choose a name that feels right for you, and in the end I am sure they will love it.
IMHO if youre not involved in the conception, you don't get a say. To each name their own kids. I (or anyone else) didnt have say in my name!
@JulesSchnooks: My brother and SIL told everyone that they were naming my neice Sabaoth Leviticus. It was their standard answer everytime until people finally got the hint to not ask.
When I first got pregnant, my DH said he didn't want to plan for a boy so he wouldn't be disapointed so he wanted to pick out things for girls. The name we had picked for a girl was an easy decision for us but when people asked what we had picked out and we told them they were all against it. I didn't care. I told them that it was my baby and if it was a girl that would be her name no matter what they thought. My Dh agreed with me and they, for the most part, backed off. I still heard talk of them wanting us to pick a different name but I ignored it. That's all you have to do. It's YOUR baby. YOU pick the name. Even if you like the worst name ever in their oppinion, it's your choice. Make yourself and your SO happy.
We are not TTC yet, but we are looking forward to the day when we can and talk about it alot ! We have pretty much picked out our first baby girl's name and have mentioned it to some people.. It definately does not make everybody happy!! haha But we actually thinks the reactions are kinda funny and we know that in the end, people will get over it ! We have our reasons and its not a crazy name so yeah :) As long as the name is not bullying material, it'll be fine in the end :) A friend of mine named her son Gedeon (not that cute where I am from.. sounds very old grandpa to most). At first we all thought she was kinding.. now we all love the little boy and think the name is adorable :) As long as the name you are thinking of is not bullying worthy, go for it :)
Personal opinion--if you didn't have anything to do with making the baby, you don't have a whole lot of say in what name it gets. Suggestions, fine. Demands, no.
Your baby. You two (you and the hubby) name it. And STOP telling everyone what u want to name it. That way you just compromise with one person....... YOUR HUSBAND. Makes it a whole lot simpler.
My hubby and I (when we get pregnant) will not find out the sex or discuss serious thoughts of baby names with the family. We will just introduce the baby as baby boy (whatever) or baby girl (whatever. THE END OUR CHOICE---- IF YOU WANT A CHOICE GO MAKE ONE OF YOUR OWN, BUT THIS BABY IS OURS (IN THE NICEST WAY POSSIBLE) :)
Hahaha I love @DDG84's point that if yo're not involved in conception, you don't get a say. Good way to put it!!!!!
This sounds exactly like something my mom would do. Or she'd pull a face and just make it really obvious that she didn't like a particular name.
I say, go with what you and your DH like, and don't tell your parents till you've already named him/her.
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My husband and I are trying to name the baby boy we're expecting in April. It has proven to be extremely difficult as we cannot agree on hardly ANY names. The hubs has shot down all of my very favorite names, and I'm not too keen on the names he's picked out either. We finally narrowed it down to a couple names we actually agree on (although I'm not particularly thrilled about either of them - compromise is so hard when choosing a name!).
One of our names is extremely popular, so we're thinking of steering away from it for that reason. The other is slightly less popular, but my mother has said "Oh, you don't want to name him that. It reminds me of so-and-so. That's all I would think of." My husband and I have already had to eliminate several names from our list based on people we know or have known in the past who totally RUIN the name for us. Seeing how hard it's been for us to agree on names, should my parents have the right to veto a name based on someone in their lives who may have ruined a name for them? This person who my mother is talking about was a longtime co-worker of my dad's who was sometimes an irritant for him in his professional life (although my dad has been retired for over 10 years now and no longer has contact with this person).
So should we just go with that name and hope my mom and dad can get over it? Or should I feel badly for choosing a name that I know my parents are anything but thrilled with?