- 8 years ago
Things are moving along quickly and I think I’ll be engaged within the next few months…yay!
We went ring shopping and I still haven’t made up my mind what I’d like. SO likes everything that I have liked, and says he just wants a ring that I love. The choice is really up to me.
Before we went ring shopping, he told me that the budget was $7K.
The other night he told me that he was thinking of taking out a personal loan to pay for the ring, but the interest rates are expensive. I was shocked – a loan! I don’t want him to take out a loan to buy me a ring. I would not enjoy wearing something expensive if he went into debt for it and I would feel like he couldn’t really afford it if he couldn’t afford to buy it upfront.
SO is on a high income. We’ve been living together for 3 years and have combined finances – our salaries are paid into our joint account, and then I pay a certain amount into our savings account each week. We’re saving up to buy a house. This means I know exactly where his money goes, so he can’t save up for something without my knowing about it. It also means that we have a significant amount of money saved up, but it’s our joint savings, for our house.
SO says he would like to buy the ring for me as a traditional gesture. In a way, though, I feel like he has already made this gesture – I know he can ‘provide’ for me, as we’ve supported each other financially for years now.
What should I do? Pay for our ring with our joint savings and feel guilty that we should be spending that money on our house, or let him pay for it with his ‘own’ money, which means he needs to take out a loan even though we have plenty of money sitting in savings?
The other thing is that if we were buying the ring as a joint purchase, with money that I had contributed to, I’d be more flexible with the budget – if I really fell in love with something I’d pay a bit more than $7K. If it’s ‘his’ money, I’d choose something cheaper as I don’t want him to spend too much of ‘his’ money.
What do you guys think? What do other people in my situation do – surely lots of other couples living together before marriage are faced with the same issue?