Should I accept my FMIL's offer to do my hair and makeup? Details inside.

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I accept her offer to do my hair and makeup?
    Yes! : (13 votes)
    33 %
    Nope! : (26 votes)
    65 %
    Other (please post) : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    643 posts
    Busy bee

    @Penang1885:  I would let her. You don’t need to get involved in other people’s drama. If they aren’t mad that her daughter is the flower girl, why would they be mad that she’s helping you out? Just because other family members don’t get along with her doesn’t mean you need to alienate her. She’s part of the family, so she should be treated as such. 

    Don’t get tied up in why other people do or don’t like her. Make decisions for yourself based on your own interactions and have a relationship with her independent of other people. Maybe she is extending an olive branch and wants to be a part of your day. This could help bridge the gap between her and your partner, too. 

    Post # 5
    Hostess
    7630 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I would mostly be worried about the availability of alternatives. Where are you getting married? You can PM if you don’t want to post. I live in and often travel around Asia so I might be able to help you out! 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1367 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @Penang1885: 

    This is tough. I voted no but I think these are a few things to consider:

    Have you seen her do anyone else’s make up, and what do you think?  If you like it, then maybe. 

    Also, will she be ok with packing all the extra makeup and hair stuff she would need for the day?  I’ve seen MUAs and the stuff they usually bring and it’s often enough stuff to warrant it’s own carry on.

    What does your FI think? Does his think his mom might get upset?

    Is she doing hair and makeup for your whole bridal party?

    If she were to cause drama, are you prepared to do your own hair and makeup?

    If it weren’t an option to have her do it, what would you do?  Are you staying in a hotel with a good concierge or a spa?  Perhaps they can recommend a MUA for you and they could send pictures ahead of time? Not sure where in Asia you are going but if it’s Hong Kong, Tokyo or Korea they are OBSESSED with skincare and makeup, more so than we are (I had a beauty brand as a client so I spent time over there doing skincare research, I’m not generalizing.) It might not be a big deal to find a MUA over there.

    Post # 7
    Member
    534 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I voted yes.  Will it really cause family “drama” to have this woman put some makeup on your face and style your hair?  It’s not like you’re asking her to escort you down the aisle and give a toast at your wedding!  🙂  

    I would bring lots of very clear “inspiration” pics and give very clear directions about what you want…that way there’s much less of a chance that she’ll mess up and give you a look you don’t want. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    493 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @Penang1885:  If you do decide to decline, it seems like the easiest way would be to emphasize how you really want her to enjoy the trip as a guest, not to be lugging a train case of makeup or working while everyone else is relaxing.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1769 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Since there’s potential drama and she’s your FIs stepmom and he thinks you shouldn’t let her do it, I’d go with his opinion. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    7279 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    No. When you supsect trouble, run the other way. In life and with family. 

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