Post # 1
I am really torn as to whether I should as my college friend to be a bridesmaid. Originally I just wanted family – my sisters and his sister – but ended up asking another friend of mine. My fiance has 5 groomsmen (and 2 or 3 ushers) so having another bridesmaid would make it more even.
I really love my college friend but we live in different parts of the country and I am not as close to her as I used to be. I am torn between asking her and then realizing I made the wrong choice – another person to organize, buy flowers for, etc., or not asking her and realizing she would have added to the wedding.
I guess I’m just conflicted because I wanted a small bridal party but I didn’t want to tell my fiance he couldn’t have all the friends he wanted, so here we are!
Post # 3
@FutureMrsBPJ: Did you think of her before there was an issue of evening it out? That might help you realize.
Maybe she is someone you really want to be present at your wedding but not necessarily in your wedding party.
Post # 4
@nawella: Yes, I had thought about adding her before the numbers came into play. It doesn’t really bother me that the numbers would be uneven. I guess it just boils down to why would I want her in the wedding vs. why wouldn’t I?
Post # 5
@FutureMrsBPJ: Yeah that’s a tough one… it’s hard to say. Is there one way you could go that you feel you would regret more?
Post # 6
@FutureMrsBPJ: If she is in a different part of the country it will likely be very hard for her to really be there for you during a lot the wedding planning process ( dress shopping, bridal shower(s), girls planning nights etc ). Would you be ok with that? If you can’t imagine getting married without her standing next to you, and won’t be bothered by her potentially be unable to help along the way, then I would say ask her.
Personally, unless she was my absolute best friend I probably wouldn’t ask. Similarly, if an old friend asked me to be a bridesmaid and she lived a plane ride away, she would probs have to be very special to me in order for me to be able to commit.
Post # 7
@FutureMrsBPJ: If you guys aren’t very close anymore and she lives across the country, I’d count her out, especially since you said you just wanted your sisters anyway.
Post # 8
Think about it this way – if you are saying you aren’t as close as you once were, do you think that you will have grown even further apart by next May?
Post # 9
I know what you’re talking about with your FI having a bigger party than you! I strugged to find 6 people to ask to be in my bridal party to keep up with his 6 guys..and then one of my BM’s decided she wasn’t going to be able to be in the wedding…so i’m back to being lopsided! To me…my bridal party is those closest to me…that I want to support me at this special time (and also my Future SIL lol) My FI is close with his family. I thought about trying to find more BM’s but decided i’m ok with him having more on his side than mine…beacuse I have the girls most important to me…and he has the guys that are most important to him. If you want her to be by your side for this, then I say ask her…but if you’re thinking about asking her just to try to even out the bridal party I say skip it.