Should I address this?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This is the problem with random plus ones.  I would speak to the BM in private and tell her this in appropriate, and if BM insists on bringing this person, BM and her plus one will be seated next to the kitchen with your deaf granduncle, or whomever else you want.

Post # 4
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@JacobsMama:  i would definitely address this.  bring this big mouth up in casual conversation first (how long have you known her, is she a good friend, etc), then you can ask how she feels about this girl’s swearing and attitude towards it.  then you can mention that she will need to tone it down at the wedding if she attends due to the fact there will be many children present and that it is a wedding.  entirely inappropriate.

Post # 5
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@JacobsMama:  UGGGGGGGGHHH one of my GM’s is bringing his video gaming buddy to our wedding. I have no idea who this guy is (or why he wants to bring him, his entire family is going to be there, it’s not like there will be no one to talk to/hang out with). I am so there with you. And on top of that, I’m sure he will be joining us on the party bus to go downtown afterwards too, lovely.  I would definately pull your BM aside and let her know your concerns with this person’s behavior, because I wuold imagine that is the way she acts 100% of the time. If you’re not comfortable approaching her about it, seat the guest far away from kids.

Post # 7
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@JacobsMama:  I would imagine that this girl won’t be spending much time chatting with random kids she doesn’t know, and hence swearing in their presence.

I would request that your BM not bring this friend to other appointments and events related to your wedding (if she had a bf, surely she wouldn’t be dragging him along dress shopping? To me, wedding related things are for immediate family and bridal party only, not their guests/dates/partners/friends) and leave it at that.

Her potty mouth reflects very poorly on her, but unless she knows a lot of other guests at your wedding, I doubt she’ll spend too much time demonstrating her complete lack of class to your guests.

Post # 8
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee

@JacobsMama:  Your wedding is still a ways a way.  I would wait and see what happens.

If you really don’t want this person there, then ask her before you send out your invitations who she would like to bring, if she says this person, then explain your situation.

If you give her a blanket “and guest” or “+1” then she gets to chose.  If you invite guests by name then only that person is invited.

Post # 9
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

No, do not sit her at your table.  Just explain to BM right now that her +1 can not behave herserlf and will sit elsewhere.

But I do not agree with wait and see. Get in front of this now.

Post # 11
Member
3598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think you need to tell your bridesmaid flat out that this rude person is not welcome at your wedding.  You get one chance to make a first impression, and she made a very bad one on you.  The swearing is one thing, but refusing to refrain from using swear language because the kid present wasn’t hers was unacceptable.

 

Post # 13
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@JacobsMama:  Sarcasm or not – having a trash mouth in front of a bunch of people you don’t know and in front of a child is inappropriate.

Sit her ass at another table alone – she can make friends with her with and sarcasm.

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