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@MabelleBliss: I think you should definitely bring it up! It sounds like you and FI are pretty open with each other in the whole process. Use that to your benefit. You've already shown the ring to him, now add that emphasis to it. The worst that could happen is that FI will tell you, "you know, financially I am not where I want to be." But even then he'll have an even better idea of what you LOVE.
I'm very new but I just wanted to say- tell him!! I know my so is in the process of paying off a ridiculously priced ring because I found the receipt while doing washing and it's everything I NEVER wanted!!
It's a real diamond and I did not want anything from a conflict zone and it's from the most expensive shop our city has- the ring I dreamed of having is $400 (approx I live in the uk) and the receipt I found was for a $3000 ring! Inside I am furious but feel like I can't say anything because he has already started to make payments. Do it before it's too late!!
Good luck :) Xx
ETS- any suggestions on my dilemma are very much appreciated :)
oh gosh, I think I'll have to tell him today! I looked on the website of the seller (I first found it on ebay) and there's a coupon code for today only that puts it just under $200. holy crap! I have to mentally prepare myself now...
This reminds me of something that I heard just last evening about the difference between "implied" communication and "direct" communication. Our Bible study teacher mentioned this at the end of our class and noted that (of course there are exceptions to this) but many women tend to be "implied" communicators (as in, "I don't want to have to actually tell him this is what I want, because he should be able to pick up on the fact that I want it based on what I've already told him"), and many men tend to be "direct" communicators (as in, "I had no idea you wanted me to buy that/do that for you. Why didn't you just tell me that?")
So, it may be best just to tell him that, ever since he proposed, you've been keeping an eye out for rings that interest you, and you've fallen in love with this particular ring. Tell him that you think this is THE ONE and that you'd love for him to consider buying it for you if it fits within the ring budget he had in mind. It also would be good to tell him that, because it's a one-of-a-kind, vintage piece, you're concerned about someone else possibly buying it before he does, so you believe this is a time-sensitive decision for this particular ring.
@MabelleBliss: If you like the ring, tell your fiance about it. Even if it's perfect, you might be able to find something similar, or you could have one custom made. Even if your partner can't afford the ring/doesn't want to buy it for whatever reason/won't allow you to help pay for it, at least he will know what you like.
Also, @IreGal: the ring may end up being something you'll love after all. It could be a Canadian/conflict free diamond. Also, it could be a used diamond. To me, even a used diamond that comes from a conflict zone is still reducing the number of new conflict stones. As for the price, your BF obviously feels you're worth it. I've had to get over my BF spending way more on me than I want him to spend long ago, because he ALWAYS does it. When I do get mad, he tells me he just wants to give me everything I deserve and more, and he can afford to spoil me. I actually really enjoy it now, instead of feeling guilty about it like I used to.
@MabelleBliss: That is such a good deal! I say tell, only because if you don't do anything you'll probably be kicking yourself when someone buys the ring you're in love with.
@IreGal: it depend on the store, but if you really don't like the ring when he gets it, he can usually return it within 30-60 days. Then, you can tell him you love him and really appreciate that he wanted the best for you, but there's a style you incidentally fell in love with.
@MabelleBliss: Oh my, with a coupon and everything? He should be thanking you when you tell him! Good luck!
tell him! thats a great deal and opportunity, and if he wants to get you a ring then this one sounds perfect!
Under $200 for an engagement ring is basically free haha. I would just get it! Also, you will be combining finances anyway - might as well optimize your cash flow for savings vs debt payment now and chip in for the ring!
So I've decided to definately tell him, gone over the words I'm gonna say in my head, and his phone's been dead for like 6 hours (a common problem) I'm just hoping he gets home and gets on skype before midnight! This is so frustrating and it's making me more nervous! (although, worse comes to worse, I could show him later and it'd only be about $60 more, but that's a worthwhile chunk to me. "under $200" seems more appealing to me than "under $300" although either is a good deal)
So, the talk's been had, and it went... not catastrophic. Well really it was more or less good, but I'm not getting my ring haha ;p He said he wants to wait because his sister is currently engaged (which I expected and am fine with waiting till after her wedding) and he wants to get me a legit ring he can afford when we have more money (ugh, I really don't want something more expensive) But, now the topic has been broached which is a load off my chest, even though I nearly chewed my finger off and my heart feels like it's gonna pop (have I mentioned my anxiety problem? lol) Nothing terrible happened!!
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So we are actually engaged, but I'm posting this in waiting cause this is more of a waiting thing to go through.
My SO proposed about a week ago, but without a ring, which I am 100% fine with. However, I definately want to have one eventually. He's hinted at wanting to get me one and is sneakily trying to figure out what stones I like, but since he didn't straight out ask me about it I haven't straight out told him, haha, because I'm in no rush and I know he doesn't have much money at the moment.
However, a few days ago I found this perfect ring. I'm hesitant to even share it because I love it so much, and it's vintage and one of a kind, so I'm afraid someone will buy it soon or it will just disapear. Which would be sad but of course I would move on, it's not like it belongs to me. I actually showed it to him in passing to say I like the color of the stone, but I'm thinking maybe I should just come out and say I want this please maybe? so it doesn't get away! He recently told me his credit card got another $800 or something added to the limit, and this ring is under 300, so he could get it, but it would be more debt and I know he wants to pay off what he already has (about 700). I could offer up some money, since we're joining finances anyways, but I don't know if he'll accept or not. I don't know if it's even a good idea to mention it, because wanting a material thing is not really important and might put stress on him to do something he'd rather do later when he's working more. As with most things in our relationship, I'm inclined to wait for him to make the first move, even though I know he is the sweetest guy ever and would never be mad at me for asking for what I want, and would almost definately do it for me... but I'm just a nervous person and don't like to put focus on my needs/wants.
Has anyone been in this situation? Is it worth asking despite non-ideal timing to not miss the opportunity for a dream ring?