- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
I have six BMs, but ever since I picked them I have regretted that I didn’t ask my cousin. One of my BMs just dropped out for health reasons. I really want to ask her, but two weeks before the wedding is too ridiculous and I’m thinking it’s offensive at this point.
Here’s the sitch: She’s responsible and sweet and probably the only person I could pick that I’m sure I’ll be close to my whole life. She’s a little older than me and has been a BM a few times, she’s a busy exec and I just felt like it was a burden. I just told her this about a month ago, and she said she was grateful that I hadn’t asked for that exact reason. She has, however, been helping me this past month plan and order all of the DIY decorations for the reception (along with my FMIL). Honestly she’s done more by a million than anyone else in the wedding party, possibly more than anyone else but me. She threw me an engagement party, came to my bachelorette (which cost a good chunk of change), and has generally been a huge help all around and a calming, responsible influence in the face of my crazy and unreliable maids.
I do have to talk to her about it though – I don’t want her to find out that weekend about the dropout and feel hurt that I didn’t ask her instead. She’s the sweetest thing ever, and I’m worried she only said she was glad I didn’t ask to make me feel better about being an idiot.
What would you do if you were me? What would you want me to do if you were her?