(Closed) Should I ask her to step down as a bridesmaid and possibly take on a lesser role

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

WOW, so glad im not in your position.  That’s pretty hard.  On one hand, if you keep her just to make everyone happy and to not ruffle feathers, you sooooo are not going to have a good time at all.  If anything, she’ll probably add more stress to you than need be.


Secondly though, most likely if you ask her to step down and she doesn’t take it very well……well,most likely you might lose a friend.  Is that something you are willing to go through?


As far as how to tell her the news…..well, isn’t that what the Maid/Matron of Honor is for? lol,jk

No really though,whether you tell her tastefully or not, she wont take it either way.  Just be honest with it.

Post # 4
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Kick her out! I know it sounds brutal but she is just awful. Planning a wedding is so stressful when you are surrounded by people who love you let alone when you are around someone who is awful. I kicked one of my bridesmaids out for this very reason and felt instant relief once I had done it. Good luck and give her to boot, you’ll be thankful you did.

Post # 5
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

As someone who wishes she had cut lose a bridesmaid while there was still time, I say if you are already worried about her get rid of her.  Politely, of course. 

You still have almost a year to plan.  Do your bridesmaids have much involvement at this point?  If I were you, I’d give it a few months of not discussing the wedding with the troublesome girl then tell her that you’ve made some changes with the new wedding plans.  I don’t see any reason to hurt her feelings or anything.  Just tell her a groomsman dropped out and you want the numbers to be even or something. 

Maybe you can have another talk with the girl when it’s closer to your actual date.  Then you can talk to her about all the resoponsibilities ask her if she really wants to do it given the requirements.  Be ready to offer her an easier, less expensive (for her) role at the end of the discussion.

Again, if she is already a problem, it will only get worse as time goes on and the planning becomes more stressful for you and your fiance.

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