Post # 1
Hello. This is my first time ever on this site. I was hoping someone else had asked the same question but I couldn’t find anything. Should I ask someone to be in my wedding, just because I was asked to be in theirs? Ok, here is the story…. I went to high school and was on a cheerleading squad with this girl. We never really hung out besides doing cheer stuff. She didn’t have many friends. We we graduated and didn’t really keep in touch unless through myspace or facebook. Well she got married last July 2009. She asked me to be in her wedding…and of course I said yes. It was me and the rest of the cheerleading squad who were in the wedding. The only person she really kept in touch with from school was her MOH. (I kinda feel like I was in the wedding because I felt bad for her) I attended everything and helped out with the wedding as much as I could. Don’t get me wrong she is a great person. Well after her wedding, we hardly talked again. Then I just got engaged and she is texting and calling and commenting on my facebook stuff. I feel like she is expecting to be one of my bridesmaids because I was one of hers. My fiance has 5 groomsmen picked and I have 5 so if I do decide to add her in, it would be uneven. Which wouldn’t be that big of a deal because I could always have 2 bridesmaids paired with 1 groomsmen. So i’m stressing over the fact that I feel she is expecting me to ask her. I mean we are friends but if you would have asked me before she got married if she was going to be in my wedding, I would have said no. A little help, please!!! thanks in advance
Post # 3
No. Being a bridesmaid is not a thing you have to be even-stevens on. No matter what happened in high school, that was probably awhile ago.
Post # 4
If it makes you uncomfortable to have her in your wedding then dont do it. If she asks what’s up just say that you and your FI have decided to have a small-ish wedding party. Its your day!
Post # 5
one of my favorite things i read somewhere, regarding bridesmaids, was this:
…meaning that you are not required to put someone in your wedding just because you were in theirs. i was in two weddings in years past and am not having either of those girls in mine.
don’t feel forced. don’t feel guilty. it’s YOUR day. make sure you surround yourself with the wedding party that makes sense for YOU.
Post # 6
NO WAY!!!! just because your in her wedding doesn’t mean that she should be in yours, and just becasue she asked you to be a b/m in her wedding doesn’t mean she should EXPECT to be in yours!!!!! Think about it she will be in ALL your pics, do you want someone to be in all your wedding pics that you no longer talk to anymore? I had a friend who did this and now this girl is in all her wedding pics and they aren’t even friends anymore… she regrets it badly!!!!! Just tell her sorry that you have friends that you;ve known longer, or that you’ve grown closer to. Thats whats happening to me. I had to pick and choose over some of my friends, so i choose the girls that are my closest friends and the friends i know i’ll keep in touch with forever!!!!! I would never put someone in my wedding if we were just ” so so ” friends, you have the girls standing next to you that will be your friends forever!!
Post # 7
no, after being in a few weddings and after I was done with mine, I told my friends no more wedding party for me. I will help out as much as possible but being a wedding party, no thanks! but ya I don’t think you should have to ask her and if she expects it… then she needs a wake up call =p
Post # 8
wow..thanks for all the advice! It has helped me out a lot and it makes me feel much better to know that I have not been the only one in this situation! Thanks!!
Post # 9
Nope. Don’t make her a bridesmaid because you feel obligated. Only ask her to be a bridesmaid if you want her to be a bridesmaid.
Post # 10
I was the MOH in a girls wedding and didn’t have her as a BM, she did a reading though.
It sounds horrible but she got married 4 years before I did and we really didn’t keep in touch much. It also got back to me while I was shelling out $$ to throw her parties that she told one of the other BM not to feel bad about not being MOH but she just gave me the title because she knew I throw her good parties – sort of flattering, sort of a slap in the face.
Anyways, I have a slew of sisters (plus there were friends I wanted to include that had talked to me more regularly) so I tried to include her by doing the reading but I didn’t really feel guilty about not having her in the wedding.
Post # 11
if you are second guessing it, definitely not! you should only have those you really want to be a part of your wedding party. don’t feel bad about it!
Post # 12
If she wouldn’t be in your wedding party except for the fact that you were in hers, then my answer is no. It will be an honor for her to be a guest at your wedding; bridesmaids don’t have to be reciprocal. You only want those closest with you to be standing next to you on your day. 🙂
Post # 13
Welcome to WB!! And no you do not have to have someone in your party just because you were in theres. I have three friends that I decided not to do this with. They are great and all, but I have others that I wanted in the party more.
Post # 14
I did, and I don’t regret it yet. She is FI’s best friend/best man’s wife. She asked me to be in her wedding, and I asked her as well. I think it would have been awkward, had I not.
Post # 15
I was in two wedding last year, and I’m having both girls do readings at mine. I have two sisters, and two really close friends, so I can’t have everyone there!
Post # 16
no way. I would say that you are going to end up regretting it… BM drama was one of the worst things that happened to me during wedding prep. GAH.