Should I ask them if they're coming?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@Pinkmoon:  I think you should wait as long as possible before bugging them about it.

Sidenote: ‘no pressure’ gets under my skin because there is pressure, otherwise why are you asking?

 

Post # 4
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I think you could od it in a funny way… Call and say congrats, ask how the baby is doing, and ask if the baby needs a place setting at the table.

The wedding is 2 weeks away. you’re out of time IMO.

Post # 5
Member
6891 posts
Busy Beekeeper

What is the absolute final deadline for the caterer?  Around here, you’d have another another week or more before having to provide your guaranteed numbers.  In addition, it is usually possible to underestimate by a handful of guests  and  have them added in last minute with no charge, whereas an overestimate would require you to pay for their meals. 

I’d speak to your caterer to see how flexible they are willing to be, or check your contract.

Post # 6
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

For my wedding i’m renting chairs and have the smaller tables where I can only put 6-8 people per table. 2 weeks out os too late for me since I have to order chair sashes and table cloths where 2-3 people could thorw off my table counts.

There’s more to think of than just the catering deadline.

Post # 7
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would give them at least a week if you don’t want to come across as pushy (they may also be offended that you seem to be more focused on you when they had the baby)… but certainly bring it up lightly and just confirm with them if they are still coming. 

I would assume that they are still coming otherwise she likely would’ve contacted you and said that they didn’t feel like they’d be up to it – but then again they have a lot on their plate.

Post # 8
Member
4163 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Can you give them one more week? If the caterer allows, the more time you can give them to recoup, the better!

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