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No, I don't think it would be awkward at all. It would show support of her. I would go if I were you.
Well, If it were me making the decision I'd go. I have been to funerals and memorials for people I've never met as a show of support. It is awkward, but people appreciate the gesture. I have been on the other side and it always means a lot to have people show that they care, even though its really hard to let some people see you grieve. But still, I say go!
not awkward at all. you care about her, and would be there supporting her. it's a totally appropriate and kind thing to do.
I would probably go as well to show support for her and her family. If you don't feel completely comfortable going to the funeral, is there a visitation that you could stop by? That's another option for letting the family know that you are thinking about them.
you should go. nobody will think it is strange that you've never met your friend's stepfather. The main thing is that you want to support her, so it is totally appropriate for you to attend.
If you don't have a problem with funerals (I do - I refuse) then I'm sure your friend would appreciate the support.
I would definitly go. It's a lovely way to show your Bridesmaid that you are there for her in this difficult time.
Definitely go. As a person who has been through emotional funerals myself, seeing someone I didn't necessarily expect to be there, but knew they came to show their support for me in my time of grief was wonderful. Being there for your BM is important, because she will be there for you on your important day. It may feel awkward but just give her a hug and let her know that you are always there if she needs to talk can be just the thing she needs to hear.
@kittyachi, may I ask why you refuse to go to funerals? Is it because you find them difficult emotionally, or some other reason. Hope I'm not asking anything too personal.
I dont think it would be awkward, it would be great support to her if you went and you are able to.
You don't have to know the person who passed
Yes...if someone you are close to, has a family member pass, you attend the service. You go to support your friend
You never forget who came to your wedding, and who came to your parent's funeral... if you don't mind going, I'm sure it would be appreciated.
@RIbride - I do find them emotionally difficult, but that's obviously not uncommon. I get bad anxiety attacks when confronted with death like that (stems from childhood experiences) so unless it is an immediate family member, I don't go. I do make sure to show my support for those grieving in other ways, though.
Thanks ladies! I am for sure going now. The least I can do for her is attend a memorial service.
I've been to some of my friends parents funerals before... I've never met their parents, but I went to support them.
I think it would be nice for you to support your BM during this difficult time, especially since she is going to support you on your wedding day!
@Kittyachi - Have you looked into extinction therapy used on phobias? I've wrestled a number of fears, and it's been very effective at eliminating or greatly mitigating them. It's really easy - any cognitive behavior therapist can walk you through it in a few sessions!
@Kittyachi, thanks for sharing, I can understand that. I think what MrBee mentioned is also a great idea if its something you are willing to try out.
I'm glad you decided to go! I was going to agree with the PPs!
I'd say go-when my mother died I couldn't tell you even a week later who was there but I can still remember to this day 3 years later who wasn't.
i would definitely go. i have been to a few funerals of parents/family members of close friends and even acquaintances to just support them and i know they appreciated the support.
I'm glad you decided to go...I think it's important to support your friend during this time. It's okay to be there even though you've never met her family.
Yeah, I think you should definitely go. It is a wonderful gesture to show your friend that you are there for her. Especially as she is taking time out of her life to be your bridesmaid to show support for your important "life moment," you can do the same for her. I can understand not wanting to be intrusive (some people do like private funerals) but since she posted the info on FB, you can assume she's open to people coming.
It would be polite for you to attend, and I'm sure your friend would appreciate it. But if you feel uncomfortable you can always send a card to the family or send flowers to the funeral home in his honor.
@Frugalistabride: That is a good point! I remember, 10 years on, the friend who refused to come to my father's funeral; she said she didn't want to go to "that part of town." :(
Whoops! I just re-read my last post and I didn't mean for it to sound directed at the OP! Sorry about that. I was just reflecting on my own experience. The friend in question had met my father and known him for years, as long as she'd known me, and was quite beloved by him, in fact. So I took it personally.
I think it is important to go and be there for your friend. She'll need all of the support she can get.
Having lost my father just a few months ago, I would definitely encourage you to attend. Attending a funeral, is not like attending one's wedding. You do not need to have known the person personally. It's about the importance of being a standing support to the person you know, affected by the loss.
I know in my case, most of the people at the service, did not know my father personally. They were mostly my friends, who have never had the pleasure of meeting him - or much less anyone else in my family for that matter. They came out to honor a person who is important to me - in showing me that they care for me. That's really what it comes down to.
It is a beautiful thing to stand besides a friend who is going through such a difficult time. I know that it made all the difference for me.
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Let me preface this with I am an immigrant so I am not entirely familiar with the American culture as it relates to funerals.
One of my close friend and bridesmaid's step father lost his fight to cancer. I have never met him or anyone else in her family besides her husband. I know she and the stepfather were close. Is it akward for me to attend his memorial service mass at church or is this normal etiquette? I am just concerned because I did not know him. She posted all the arrangements on FB. I totally want to support her in every way possible but don't want to intrude on family mourning time.