Post # 1
Ok so here is the situation. We are having a rather formal wedding- eveing/night, cocktails and hor douvres followed by a formal sit down dinner and dancing with open bar, and all of this inside/outside and on a lakefront property… so I had decided that this was not really a kid type of event. I just dont feel comfortable with adults drinking and partying with kids around, and honestly I dont feel like paying for a child to take 2 bites of their expensive dinner. Its nothing against children, I plan on having them one day and think that all of the family children are cool (even if they are a bit hectic and destructive). I have been planning on having a room set up for kids 13 and under with baby sitters, games, movies, pizza, cupcakes, toys ect. on the property so that parents could enjoy themselves but still visit their kids and check on them if they wanted to. When I mentioned this to some people on the groom’s side they kind of ignored my idea and told me that their kids would be in the reception dancing with them (all of their kids are under 13.)
So my question is not rather or not the concept of having a kids free wedding is acceptable (I already have my opinion on that and am not looking to cause an argument on that topic) I just want to know if I should back down and just have all the kids in the formal thing or not? Opinions? Comments? Concerns? Please help!
Post # 3
Heck no you should not back down. We had a kid-free wedding, (except our flower girl and ring bearer, and they left fairly early), and I don’t regret it at all. In fact, attending friends’ weddings before and after my wedding has made me confident I made the right decision. Especially with yours being more of a formal affair, it’s NOT a place for kids. I think you are providing an awesome alternative for them and have gone above and beyond, their parents need to respect that and keep them in the kid’s room or not bring them at all.
Post # 4
I did forget to mention that most of our family will be across the US to visit the wedding… Do you still think that I should stand my ground?
Post # 5
There is nothing wrong with having a kid free wedding.
Personally I know a lot of parents that would love the idea but also know a few that wouldn’t leave their kids with an unknown babysitter.
However the major problem I see with your kids room ideais that your FH’s side is already against it and I think they will just let there kids come into the reception regardless of whether or not there is kids room. And then once one kid escapes into the adult realm well I think it will be the old monkey see monkey do- lots of kids running around your adult reception.
Post # 6
You should NOT back down! I think that is an awesome idea for the kids!
Post # 7
Gah, thats what I’m afraid of. I see NO problems what so ever with having an adult thing, but his family seem slike I’m the devil for thinking that. And I agree, the children could probably just escape.. I’m trying not to piss off his family by just being myself and telling straight away that kids MUST stay in the adult room and I will have the coordinator on the look out to make sure it stays that way and if they dont agree with it then they probably should not come… but I am trying not to make waves. My own brother even told me that he *might* have children by the time of my wedding (its in a year and a half and his wife is not pregnant or anythiny) and that if he does there is no way he will go without his baby. WTF?!? Why cant people just want a nice adult evening?!?!
Post # 8
Please… do not let other people tell you what’s going to happen at YOUR wedding. I definitely wouldn’t back down. I don’t see what their issue would be since the kids would technically still be there, just in a separate room & likely having more fun than they would be around a bunch of adults drinking alcohol.
Post # 9
@MattandKristin: “WTF?!? Why cant people just want a nice adult evening?!?!”
EXACTLY! I don’t understand why people can’t enjoy a night out without their kids. I think you are being extremely nice by providing a room for the kids. Stick to your guns and don’t even stress over it on your wedding day- appoint your coordinator to enforce the no kids atmosphere.
Post # 10
I think that is a great idea and you shouldn’t give in to them…if they are going to be GUESTS at YOUR wedding, they should kindly do as you ask…it’s not like you’re leaving them stranded without a sitter or another option…you’ve put thought into it!