Post # 1
Hello, DH and I are planning to try for a baby soon, but I am concerned because he doesn’t ejaculate. He has ejaculated just a few times in the last two years ever since our marriage. No sex before. He resists visiting the doctor and keeps saying everything is fine with him. I am trying to be patient, but he makes it sounds like maybe he is not getting enough to make him climax. So I came here to the TTC boards to get some advice. I know that if he doesn’t ejaculate it will be hard for us to get pregnant right?, and I am not even sure if he pre-cums. I am sorry this is too much info, but I want to hear from ppl who had/have a similar issue and what you are doing especially when trying for a baby. I feel so lost, sad and hopeless.
Post # 3
@Frustrated_bee: Yes, it’ll be difficult to get pregnant that way… definitely time to visit the doctor. Good luck! 🙂
Post # 4
@Frustrated_bee: I haven’t been in the same situation but I would def encourage him to see a doctor. I think it’s possible that there is sperm being made even though he isn’t ejaculating. Just to make sure I get this right, he is orgasming but not ejaculating? I know that if there is sperm being made in the vas defrens it could be a problem with the epididymis which is where the sperm matures and then goes into the testicles. Perhaps there is some tube trouble or something? They can go in and do a procedure to get the sperm out if its there but just not being ejaculated but he need to go see a doctor to be sure what’s going on and as this could potentially affect you he needs to see someone. Maybe it could be a hormone imbalance? Maybe too personal but does he often masturbate? That would cause there to be no fluid left. Or it could be from orescription or non prescription medication. No man likes to go to the dr and talk about his penis but sometimes it has to be done. 🙁 I hope he comes around.
Post # 5
He definitely needs to see a doctor. Could you both go together- like get some blood work done, talk about family history of certain genetic disorders, get boosters on any vaccines you need, etc? Then all the pressure isn’t on him, the focus is on you two going together to dot your i’s and cross your t’s before TTC. Best of luck to you!
Post # 6
Can he ejaculate on his own?
Post # 7
@Frustrated_bee: I have had an ex with this. It is almost always psychological (is he Catholic/fundamenta Christian?). In all honesty, he probably needs to lay off the porn (if there is any) and do some work with himself, a therapist, or his pastor to realize that it is entirely okay to have sex with you– it is what is supposed to happen. My ex is married and childless, but that is because he didn’t get help. Many of my conservative friends who were in the same boat now have great sex lives with lots of children ruining their happy time. Best of luck!
ETA: It isn’t anything wrong persay, it is just something that I have noticed with a lot of religious men. If you are taught sex is bad and wrong, it is a mental block to make it right. If he can cum with himself/to porn, it isn’t a physical problem, it is a mental problem. If he just takes awhile, it is probably time to get some help.
Post # 8
It can be psychological, I suppose, but it can also be biological. My husband and I just went to a urologist about this (known issue with him, side effect from his cancer treatment) and there are several different things that can go wrong to prevent ejaculation. It can be solved in some cases with drugs, in some cases the sperm can actually be easily retrieved from the urine if he has what is called retrograde ejaculation, and in other cases it can be more complicated. For us, we are probably looking at IVF (but as I said, don’t let that scare you, our situation sounds very different than yours!). In the meantime, we enjoy not needing birth control 🙂 If you want, feel free to PM me. I would try to convince him to go to the doctor, my husband and I are just starting out on our TTC journey but so far the doctor we found has been great. Talk to your gyno about it, that’s how I got our recommendation, or have him talk to his PCP.
Post # 9