Should I be invited to the rehearsal dinner? (Aussie input appreciated)

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Is your fiance in the wedding party and attending? I think if your fiance is attending, then it would be appropriate for you to attend as well. I am Canadian, so I don’t know if it is different in Austrailia, I wish I could be more help. Maybe have a conversation with your FI about it, and maybe he could politely ask his brother if he would like both of you there? Good luck!

Post # 3
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I am in Australia and none of the weddings (varying from and Outback Territory wedding to a High End Sydney wedding) I have been to even had a rehearsal dinner! Maybe ask your FI if they are expecting you to come? 

Post # 4
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

In Australia it is pretty variable. I assume your fiance is in the wedding party? I would have thought that it would be polite for you to be included, but it depends on if it is a big formal event or if it is literally just the wedding party going out for burgers (or whatever) after the rehearsal. Ask your fiance and find out more about what the plan is.

Post # 6
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I’m in Melbourne and rehearsal dinners have been pretty common amongst my friends, although there’s been no set rules as to who goes along (the ones I’ve been to have ranged from bridal party & partners only, to masses of extended family & friends).  If your FI is in the wedding party then I would think you’re also invited. The best way forward might be to check with the couple getting married if you’re in any doubt. 

Post # 7
Member
14 posts
Newbee

Hi- I’m from Melbourne and rehersal dinners have always been attended by the bridal party and their partners, immediate family and their partners and often the invitation is extended to guess who have travelled to be there aswell. 

I would just assume you would be invited and just go! 🙂 

 

Post # 8
Member
6859 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Yes, immediate family and their spouses, fiancées or live in partners would normally be included. 

Post # 9
Member
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

Candice1990: Ugh, yet another unwelcome ‘wedding (non)event’ that seems to have come from nowhere. I don’t think this is necessarily a ‘thing’ so the etiquette would vary. I certainly wouldn’t bother preparing to be offended, if they just run through the ‘who stands where, when?’ and eat something afterwards there’s no reason for partners to be roped in. A formal family dinner is a little different, but you would probably expect to be invited to one of those anyway.

Post # 10
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Yup, you should be invited as your FI is brothers with the groom, and even more so because he is in the wedding party. 

Post # 11
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have no doubt that someone somewhere could dig up an etiquette rule statating that only the bridal party goes to the rehearsal dinner. That being said, inviting you would be the kind, thoughtful and smart thing to do.

Post # 13
Member
865 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Candice1990:  I agree with you.  I’m Australian/French, and spent the first 10 years of my life in Australia.  I’ve been living in the UK for over 30 years… all in all, I’ve probably been to about 20 weddings in my life, in both countries (including my own) and not one has had a rehearsal dinner.   I’ve been a bride twice and the last thing I wanted to do the night before both weddings was have to go out!  

Will you be bothered if you aren’t invited?

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Baal.
Post # 14
Member
380 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Historic house and gardens

I’m in Adelaide and I’ve never known anyone here to do a rehearsal dinner. Seems a bit of overkill really. Hopefully you will work it out and get an invite (or be lucky and not have to go)

 

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