Weddingbee boards

I'd say it's normal to feel jealous, but try to let it go.  Does the lap dance thing bother you?  Keep in mind that if they went to a high-end place, lap dances are expensive, so it might not be as many as you'd think.  (Also, keep in mind that guys exaggerate).

A bachelor at his own party is bound to attract attention, so yes, women probably were hitting on him.  But it's not like he did anything about it, right?  Maybe think of it as, even on a night when he could've gotten away with anything, with women hitting on him left and right, he stayed faithful?  I don't know; I totally get why you would feel jealous and upset, but give it a few days and I'm sure you'll feel better.  Maybe take a day to hang out with your own friends, do something nice for yourself, and don't think about wedding planning.  Good luck!

I don't think you ever need to 'have a right' to be jealous...sometimes we all feel a little insecure and we're supposed to feel safe enough with our partners to share that, whether it makes sense to anyone else or not...  and for me I totally understand how you're feeling - I would definitely be upset if I got those details from someone else after hubby had the chance to tell me himself.  I would probably feel that he left out those details on purpose, and I know that would upset me, mostly because I'd be hurt that he felt he had to leave them out (either because he wouldn't trust me not to lose it, or because he felt guilty... the latter would definitely worry me more).

My point is that you're entitled to feel however you feel and I think the best route is to just explain to him that it hurt hearing those things from someone else when he could have just told you himself.  If you're not normally a jealous person, and you're obviously ok with him going to strip clubs, then he had no reason to not tell you those things, right?  If you're bothered by it, you should talk to him about it... and again I don't think you have to justify feeling bothered by something, how you feel is how you feel and part of being a couple is feeling safe enough to tell your partner that, even if it's silly or unreasoned or completely understandable (which, IMO, it is for you in this case!).

Good luck, and I hope you guys can talk it over and laugh about it later :)  For what it's worth, I'd insist that the only fair thing to do would be a $500 shopping spree for me to make up for it, lol :)

I'd say it's not a big deal, just let it go.  It was his bachelor party, not just a regular friday night at the strip club.  Strippers are there to make money, not to try to steal your guy away.  

If you didn't discuss it prior to the bachelor party, then he had no way of knowing that this type of behavior would upset you, espeically if he knew you used to go to strip clubs with your ex. So you have every right to be jealous, but I think it would be unfair to hold it against him. You can't be okay with it beforehand and then get angry after the fact, because in that case you set him up to fail.

I think your new plan sounds a little immature, but that may be the way I am reading it. If you want to have this wild, raunchy evening to be passive aggressive or for some kind of vengeance, I think you are barking up the wrong tree. The weeks before your wedding are not good times to trade petty jabs. Also, something tells me that if you were this upset about your FH getting lap dances, you will probably feel insecure/guilty/dirty if you go out and do the same thing.

I say this as someone who does not believe in strip clubs in my relationship. However, I recognize that the bounds of every relationship are different and just as valid. The most important thing is to discuss what they are on and be on the same page BEFORE someone gets angry and vengeful.

@JuneBlushingBride: honey, i am a stripper. and believe me, when we're at work, it's not about having fun or picking up on guys. it's about making $$$. period. so if they were "all over him" or whatever, it was to squeez the cash out of him. and it sounds like they did. i wouldn't worry.

I would be jealous too.  But just remind yourself that it's a bachelor party and those kinds of things go on.  The fact that he really didn't tell you about the details maybe means that he's embarrassed/feels bad.  I wouldn't worry too much about it.

@muckmoo1: rude and judgemental.

i dunno, i wouldn't try to go "balls to the wall" at your bachelorette party just because he did so at his bachelor party.

i agree with @Sunshining - i think if you go out and do something similar you are going to regret it because it isn't going to erase what has already happened. i'm not giving him a free pass because i would be very upset if my FI did those things (that type of behavior is not okay on any other day of the year - why would it be at his bachelor party?) but i am saying that it's not a very smart thing to do to to try to get revenge at this point.

@Lilubird: you ladies are so funny. i really am a stripper. would the term exotic dancer make you feel any better? honey, i was simply trying to make her feel better by letting her know the girls at the club weren't really trying to pick up on her bf, just do their job. i know that most women don't like strippers and def don't like their men being around strippers. i used to feel the same way before i started dancing. also, it's really dissapointing to all you women knocking strippers as if you know any thing about them. as if you can make huge generali8zations about any group of people. that's just biased and thoughtless. TONS of men and women go to strip clubs all the time to be entertained yet society still labels the job as taboo.almost evey movie star has nude pics out of themselves, what is the difference? there isn't one. it's so hypocritical.

calling someone a bitch and classless is also hurtful.

can we get back to the OP's comments/post/situation?

@Impatiently waiting: ps- i really don't care what you ladies think about my job. i'm ballin' and you're not! haha! i'm half kidding. it's just sad to me to hear people act ignorant or biased towards any group of people. i'm bisexual too ladies! i'm sure you have lot's of predudice opinions about that! i am an exotic dancer and i didn't write that to offend anybody's delicate senses. i DO NOT get paid to have any type of sexual relations with the men where i work, and i don't. i am also a recovering addict who pulled myself out of the gutter and have 7 years clean. i love my family and are very close with them, and have come leaps and bounds in building my self esteem, and becoming the woman i want to be. but you don't care about any of that. you think you can just slap labels on people without knowing them. this is only to the people who were judging me. thank you to those who didn't.

@MissBoPeep: i know that was very nice. and i wrote thanx for that on my last post