Should I be mad about this??? Future mother-inlaw…

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

kelduke:  I don’t think you’re overreacting. I’d stop giving her any responsability whatsoever. You could always put music on an Ipod and have one of your friend be responsible for it, I know some people on here have done that.

I would NOT allow those 6 persons to come for diner. It’s her mess, she has to deal with it, your FI should make it very clear there will be no chairs and no food for them, so she has to call them and un-invite.

And then, if you really want, you could push for her to change at least the ties, with the excuse that “only your husband will wear that color of tie on your wedding day, because it’s his day too and he deserves to be special”. If brother and step-father want to wear the same tie, fine, as long as it’s not the same color as the groom.

Edited to add : Where does your FI stands in all this?

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  nousdeux.
Post # 4
6794 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

Oh man what a hot mess. Take away her responsibilities. Unfortunately, I think you should scramble and find a DJ.

Turn away the guests she invited at the door if they show up since you CAN’T ADD people LAST MINUTE! Gosh!! I mean, they were an after thought of hers if she didn’t think to invite them in the first place.

Maybe buy 2 different ties for your FFIL and FBIL and gift them to them the morning of the wedding and politely say, “I got you these because we aren’t having a bridal party and I want my groom to stand out!” 


Post # 6
6794 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

kelduke:  LOL. I said “gift them” to them, but in the back of my mind I was thinking “THIS IS NOT AN OPTIONAL GIFT. PUT THESE ON DAMMIT!” hahaha I have a crazy MIL too. Just remember to always be nice to her. My MIL is starting to figure out that I don’t like her and has been asking my DH what’s up with me. Ugh, I thought I was better at hiding it .. guess not. Gotta work on that!

Post # 7
2551 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Oh man. She reminds me of my FMIL. Lol. Except I’m scared of getting on her bad side (for good reasons). I would just leave her out of the planning, but now it’s getting a bit late for that. Move forward the best you can without her and clean up the mess as you go. You’re almost there!

Post # 8
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

This sounds incredibly frustrating and annoying- but I swear you won’t even notice these things on your wedding day.  If a table is missing a centerpiece, or what colour tie your BIL is wearing, or if you have music from an iPod- I think these things will be totally overshadowed by the excitement and emotion of the day.  

Good luck, it’s so kind of you to hide this from your FI so he doesn’t yell at his mum! 

Post # 10
179 posts
Blushing bee

Since she’s not working, I’m guessing she’s just sitting there consumed by the wedding not realizing that she’s overstepping and being annoying.

Does she have a daughter? Perhaps she feels like this is her “chance”. I would ask my FI to speak with her and tell her the 6 people cannot come. It’s not in the budget to pay for these people, it’s 2 weeks before the wedding and the numbers were given to the caterer so it cannot be changed. 

My FMIL was trying to overstep but luckily I’m good at telling her No. And my FI is awesome and always on my side and he has had a sit down chat with her to tell her to stop. You can do it nicely, take her out for lunch and just explain things to her.

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