(Closed) Should I be ticked?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would feel the same way.  But look at it this way; maybe none of the older family members of hers were invited.  To a 21 year old a 16 year gap will seem like a lot (I don’t know how old she is I’m just using 21 as an example).  Also, maybe she will be embarassed to go nuts/eat penis suckers/whipped cream off of a stripper with you there.  IDK if that’s what she’s planning but if that is it….I sort of understand her reasoning.  Plus she is probably viewing the shower as a ‘pre’ bach party for her, and then her and just her girlfriends are going to do whatever wilder thing they have planned later. 

Post # 4
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Oh my.  I think I would feel the same way you do.  Noelle-a-belle might have a point with the age gap and your niece feeling a little odd or uncomfortable no matter how hip of an aunt you are.  I can understand how you would feel used with her asking you to host the shower and then, ‘See ya, we’re off to the party!’  Is the shower soon?  Are you positive you’re not invited?

 

Post # 5
Member
6598 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would be offended especially because they will be probably talking about the night at the party because they will be excited – I would feel used also!!!!

Post # 6
Member
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Yeah… I’d be offended to. Can you gently bring up the subject of the bachelorette party with her?

Post # 7
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Maybe she assumes you will just join and didn’t feel the need to issue a formal invitation? Just trying to give the benefit of the doubt. Yes, though. Otherwise, I would be pretty irritated. I would mention it to your sibling (her parent) and let them let her know it is rude.

Post # 8
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would be offended too.  But I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt you.  If you bring it up I’m sure she’ll realize it and throw ya on the guest list.

Post # 9
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Do you normally go out partying with her?

Post # 10
Member
898 posts
Busy bee

I’d be upset too…I’d let her know how you feel though. Personally, I don’t know why she asked you to host a party for her anyways. Isn’t that bad manners? I can see where a 16 year gap could make her uncomfortable, but she shoulda though of that before asking you to host the other party.

Post # 12
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I get what you’re saying, but it depends on who’s in the bach event. Is it just her bm’s? My sister in law and mother in law hosted a shower for me and I didn’t invite them to my bachelorette party that night, even tho they knew I was going. My SIL is 4 years older than me, but also was like, 7 months preggo. I just *assumed* they wouldn’t want to come to a “typical” bachelorette party. Is it the case with your niece? I can’t imagine asking someone to host a party at their house, though, and then jet off to another one. She’s your niece–just ask her why you weren’t included. I bet there’s a good reason

Post # 13
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would be a little hurt if I wasn’t asked, especially since you’re doing a lot for her already.  But do you know if someone else is throwing the bachelorette party for her, maybe they didn’t think to add you?!  But its true she still should have extended the invitation!

Post # 14
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I think this is probably more of an oversight by her BMs or whoever is hosting the bachelorette party. They probably didn’t think it was a) appropriate to invite you after you’re hosting a beautiful bridal shower or b) you wouldn’t be interested in attending.

Had you expressed a desire to go to her bachelorette party to anyone before the plans were made? I have a couple awesome, young aunts- but unless they told me they wanted to go I probably wouldn’t think to invite them either!

If this upsets you that much, I really think you should just talk to her 🙂

Post # 15
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You said there is a 16 year gap? So she is 24 and you’re 40? Honestly, and I hope I don’t offend you, I’m 24 myself and I would never in a MILLION years think to invite my 40 year old aunt. I just wouldn’t think she would WANT to come. My friends and I are WILD, and I really wouldn’t want anyone there who might not understand us and our partying ways, you know?

I’d try to take the high road and be gracious about it. I wouldn’t ask her about it, because its possible she isn’t the one planning it– her BMs are. Do you really want to be out with a bunch of 24 year old girls until 3 AM at a strip club? If so, you’re a way cooler aunt than any that I have.

My guess is just that she doesn’t associate you with that type of partying. It doesn’t necessarily mean she is ungrateful, just unaware. I feel for her, because it wouldn’t occur to me to invite you either, given that you two don’t often go out together.

 

Post # 16
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think that I would feel that way too.  Could it just be that with the age difference, she doesn’t realize how rude that is?  Or maybe she’s not in charge of it and the person that is in charge is also clueless?

 

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