Post # 1
Hi Bees! This may seem trivial but let me explain. My fiance and I made plans to attend an event this weekend a couple hours away from our hometown. Yesterday we went to lunch and I was going over the plans and this was our conversation:
me- “we all set for this weekend, what time are you picking me up?”
FI- “I thought you were riding with someone else?”
me- “no, we made plans to ride together remember…”
FI- “I’m sorry I totally forgot and told my mom and sister they could ride with me, can you find someone else to ride with?”
(I am not on good terms with his mom & sister, but want things to work out)
me- “well I don’t have anyone to go with, can I just ride with you guys still?”
FI- “i mean that would be very awkward for us”
me- “yes it would be, but maybe a good opportunity to break the ice plus you had made plans with me first and now I have to scrabble to find transportation there?”
FI- “babe i’m sorry and I feel bad but I told my mom and sister”
me- “but u made plans with me first…”
uuugh bees! it is so frustrating because he didn’t even want to change his plans to accomodate me he’s basically saying “oh well you can find a ride but i’m taking my mom and sister and you will have to deal with it”
Should i be upset/sad/annoyed or just let it go? right now i’m just hurt because he choose his mom over me and didn’t even want to compromise. Should I say something to him?
Post # 3
I’m with you and would be upset, sad and annoyed. It sounds like you were trying to compromise – “hey, let’s all go together,” but he shot that down. Without knowing the circumstances of the argument between you and his family, it’s hard to really say. I would say, you need to get this resolved/figured out before marriage or you will be having a lot of these issues in the years to come.
Post # 4
In my eyes, he should always choose you over his mom or sister. I would be totally upset too, and would def. talk to him. 🙁
Post # 5
I’d be upset. Your FI is leaving you hanging. Not a good sign! His future wife should come first.
Post # 6
Umm I would be annoyed. Does he have a very small car or something? Why cant he have 3 passengers?
Post # 7
What’s glaring to me is the fact that you and your FMIL and FSIL don’t get along so much that you can’t be in a car together for a couple hours. What’s going on there?
Post # 8
Hell yes say something!!! If he is marrying you, you come first, especially if he already made plans with you. HE needs to be the one to deal with his mom and sister, and help put whatever is going on between you guys to rest
Post # 9
Is this a sign of what’s going to happen after you’re married? He’ll continue to pick his mom and sister overy you and say “sorry, babe”. Some men just need to learn how to stand up to their moms and sisters.
Sheesh. You have every right to be pissed angry and annoyed. I’d show up to whereever they are all leaving from and ride with them anyways.
Post # 10
I would find this completely unacceptable. I would also expect him to make every effort to include me in the plans, or if not possible tell his mom and sister they need to go themselves. It sounds like you handles the situation perfectly and even came up with a good compromise & I find that there’s no reason he should not have been happy with your effort & understanding. Def talk to him or this could be an ongoing thing for future plans, holiday parties etc.
Post # 11
Umm hell yeah I would be upset! So are you always going to come second to them? You are about to be his WIFE! IMO it should be the other way around…he should be telling them to suck it up for those three hours or better yet look at it as an opportunity to break the ice like you said.
Post # 12
Um, no.. just no. You are marrying this guy and he’s talking to you like you’re in a high school relationship. Not to be rude but how old are you two? This is unacceptable and very immature behavior for someone who is about to get married (your FI).
Post # 13
Exactly what Summy said! And forget sad, I would be pissed!
Nip this in the bud now or you will always come second to his mom and sis.
At this point, I wouldn’t even go to the event because if mom and sis are going, I assume it’s a family event for his side of the family? (That’s just me though. I would not go).
Not. Trivial. At all!
Post # 14
Depending on WHY they don’t like you, this kind of stuff would be a deal breaker for me.
I wouldn’t tolerate this treatment from my S.O. I just wouldn’t.
BUT this all depends on why you guys don’t get along.
Post # 15
Which leads to the question Why don’t you get along?
Post # 16
This is totally not okay… why cant you ride in the same car with his mom and sister? I dont know the entire back story to this and I’m sure he is a great guy but I wouldnt want to be with someone who behaves like this