How often are you having sex? And are your cycles pretty regular? There are some great approaches to being more active in TTC that don’t involve full-on charting (although I absolutely LOVED charting and loved having all that information about what was going on with my body). Would you be willing to do ovulation predictor tests? They are super easy and take literally only a few minutes out of your day, you don’t even have to do them every day of your cycle, and you can get super cheap ones off of Amazon. You could try the “Sperm Meets Egg Plan” if you do these, and have sex every other day starting on CD8, then start doing the OPKs around CD10 and once you get a positive, you have sex that day and two days in a row after, skip a day, then once more for good measure (in case for some reason you O late) and after that it doesn’t matter how often you have sex while you wait for your period (or hopefully a BFP). You don’t have to continue doing the OPKs after you get a positive.
It seems like “work” and seems like it would “take the fun out of it,” but I still made sure to try and keep DH out of the loop with all I was doing with charting, temping, and OPKs so the sex wasn’t just, “we HAVE to do it today, so pull out your thing and let’s get it over with.” I felt better as the time was drawing closer to when AF was supposed to arrive that I had armed myself with as much info and we gave ourselves the best chance of getting pregnant that month as we could by hitting all the “important” days (O-3, O-2, O-1, and O). He LOVED all the sex we had to try and make a baby, and when it was during my fertile window, it was much more enjoyable for me since I had more natural CM and was more “in the mood” anyways. We also had always used some type of lube, so during our 2nd month of TTC I got pre-seed (sperm-friendly lube) since the normal lube we were using can inhibit sperm. This was a lifesaver and allowed to us to have pretty dang enjoyable baby-making sex ;). Most of the time we would both have a drink or 2 beforehand as well to get us more in the mood.
I guess what I’m getting at is just because you add more tools to your TTC process, doesn’t mean it has to take the fun and romanticism out of it! It’s all in how you approach it. Sure, I could have shoved my positive OPKs in my DH’s face and been like, “Umm, see this? This means we HAVE to have sex right now, so go on and get naked and get it up.” <— NOT very romantic haha… I would give him much more subtle clues that it was “prime-time” like, “You better get ready to rock my world tonight!” Or I would even lie and say, “I am just SO in the mood, I need you like NOW.” I think he probably felt like a sex tiger with what all I would say to him to make sure he was excited to do it in the fertile window…hahaha. Now that I’m pregnant we are both very much missing the “baby-making sex” since DTD has not been super comfortable while being pregnant. Oh well.
One more thing is that regardless of what you decide to do/don’t do, if you do get closer to that 1 year mark of having pretty frequent unprotected sex, you can surely add on the charting, etc., but it would probably be a good idea for you AND your DH to go get checked out to make sure there are no problems that need addressed in terms of fertility. As many as 1 in 6 or 7 couples have some fertility issue, 40% of the time it’s the female, 40% of the time it’s the male, and the remaining percent are a combination of both the female and male have a problem.
Sorry for the long post…I wish you the best of luck! I hope all this doesn’t even matter and you get your BFP soon, it just stinks that for some people, getting pregnant surely isn’t as easy as they make it seem in high school sex ed, huh?!