(Closed) Should I bring it up or bite my tongue?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would bring it up (as non-confrontationally as possible.)  Otherwise, it’ll keep bothering you, and it may be as simple as him not thinking it’s a priority to get rid of it.

Post # 4
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I know your SO is a 31 year old man, but sometimes boys aren’t…always smart. 

Entertain this: What if he is wanting to propose to you and is planning on using his ex’s ring?  Some guys don’t realize how much of no-no that can be.  THAT may be why he’s trying to hide it from you. 

If that is a possibility, you may want to somehow find a way to bring rings up and somehow get it across that re-using a ring is totally bad mojo. (Unless you don’t mind, that is!  If you don’t mind, then maybe this is great news!)

Post # 7
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think he moved it bc he doesn’t want you to find it and be uncomfortable. I would bet he just doesn’t know what to do with it and probably thinks you finding it would be terrible, prove him wrong. Ask him about it calmly, like the PP mentioned, non confrontational, and not when he is tired, hungry or just off of work (which is like a 5 min window of opportunity with my FH). What did you do with your ring and does he know?

Post # 8
Member
11397 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Are you SURE its HER ring? Or is it a ring he is hiding for YOU! 🙂 I mean since he asked you to move in and everything? If he doesn’t pop te Q after a while I would ask about it. BUT I wouldnt want to ruin it if the ring is for you! 

Post # 9
Member
11397 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Oh I just seen where you wrote you are sure its her ring. Ugh, then I would bring it up. Tell him to sell it or something. Get mulay for the new house! 🙂

Post # 10
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

@Sweet.Sugar.Rose: I would guess the only way she knows it was the ring he gave his ex is if she saw it in a pic somewhere or someone told her what it looked like. I know its not ever supposed to be about the ring but getting a recycled ring from an guys ex is big no, I would rather have no ring at all. I really hope that is not what is going on here, I would give him the benefit of the doubt and not jump to thinking its anything bad. I think if it really bothers you then bring it up in a very casual way guys are dense sometimes and he might not know it would bother you

Post # 13
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

@Ms_Wonderland: I have that same fear so dont feel bad, your right about not being emotional that could make the conversation turn into a fight if he feels attacked or anything its a good idea to calm down and get your thoughts together so your sure everything is said exactly how you want it. hopefully your proposal comes soon keep us updatedSmile

Post # 15
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Get it all out in the open…

Post # 16
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

Ug! This makes me so angry! When I broke up with my ex fiance, I threw the ring in the trash. It was no good anymore and went to the trash heap where it belonged. that cheating jerk didn’t deserve to have it returned… wish his ex had done the same. You need to bring it up imediately- you have a right to be angry!

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