Post # 1
He wants to go, and I really want him to be there. My family is against it. We are not big on traditions, so I dont see the big deal. The one thing that I would like is to surprise him with the dress coming down the aisle, but I really do want him there because his opinion has always mattered the most 🙂
Anyone else been in the this situation? What are your opinions?
Post # 3
@peachbaby4008: It’s really up to you. I didn’t want FI seeing my dress (I’m traditional like that I suppose), but I did ask him the styles he liked before I went. That way he could at least have some part in the process without me spoiling the surprise. But like I said, it really is all in what you want to do as a couple. Don’t let others sway your decision. You two should talk it out and decide.
Post # 4
If you really want to bring him shopping, that’s OK. However, don’t let him know which dress you finally pick. That way he will have input but still be surprised. Also, don’t put on veils, etc. with him. The veil thing really brings on the “bridal” moment. Let that be a surprise for him too.
Post # 5
I am biased answering this question because my FI came with me and my parents to pick out my dress. I was actually thinking of not even wearing a “wedding dress”, more of a bridesmaid style dress (nothing too over-the-top, princess style, etc), but when I mentioned this to FI he was actually kind of dissapointed because he actually had thoughts/visions of what I would wear and look like on our wedding day. After I got over the shock (men actually think of these things) we started looking at styles online together. Eventually it just made sense that he would come along.
Basically it was one of the best decisions we made for him to see me try on dresses and actually see me in the one I picked. He was the most honest in his opinion and he was my sanity-saver when I had my “I look horrible in everything” spasm. And, it’s not like he has seen me with my hair, make-up, veil, etc…. all he did was see me trying on dresses, so we haven’t lost that “magical moment” of when we first see each other.
Post # 6
“He wants to go, and I really want him to be there.” – You answered your own question.
Post # 7
Yes of course! If you both want him to be there, then yes! It doesn’t matter what everyone else wants.
I got reactions from my friends and family about shopping for a dress with my FI… but really I couldn’t imagine anyone else being there for me. He makes me feel beautiful and like a princess… and I wanted him to like my dress. Afterall, it’s his wedding too.
Post # 8
Could the two of you go on kind of an exploratory shopping trip, like “let’s just go see what we both like”, knowing that you’re not buying anything that trip, and then you can go pick which actual dress without him so you can surprise him?
I’m not sure if I want FI to know about what I’m looking at for dresses. On the one hand, he has awesome taste and a great eye for what looks good on me and I do want to get something he’ll like too, and on the other hand, I don’t want him to shoot down things I love on a first impression when I’m sure he would love them in reality. But he has a more traditional outlook than I do, so he probably thinks he won’t know the first thing about my dress until I walk down the aisle. We’ll see.
Post # 9
what is the down side of taking him? even if you find the dress- he wont see the finished product- shoes- hair- makeup- accessories – until the DAY. And take it from me there is something heartwarking about seeing the big tough guy all teary eyed- for your eyes only…
Post # 10
@peachbaby4008: If he wants to and you want him to, then you have your answer. Maybe you can go on one trip with just your family to make them happy and them take him on the “real” trips when you are seriously looking.
If you want him to be surprised, maybe just go and figure out what style you both like the best, but in the end purchase something he hasn’t seen.
Post # 11
I say no. Tell him to wait and see you on the big day, its so much more fun, its hard to visualize the dress when you try it on in the store, sometimes its not the right size and has t be clipped… etc. I would always say guys should wait to see the dress on the big day!!!
Post # 12
- Wedding: December 2010 - Al Cielo / La Laguna
If you both want to be there then yes! =)
If Mr. M. hadn’t been so traditional about the whole not seeing my dress thing, I would have taken him with me too. With or without your FI, you will still have a lot of fun. 😉
Post # 13
@MissTatoo, I love that compromise! “If you want him to be surprised, maybe just go and figure out what style you both like the best, but in the end purchase something he hasn’t seen.”
Post # 14
Okay so I voted before I read this post. I wouldn’t have my FI there because I’m going to wear what i want to wear and my FI will love me in what ever that is… and Randy on Say Yes to the Dress always says never bring your FI to your dress shopping… but if you want your FI there then go right ahead and have him there but i agree with the pp that he can give you imput on style but maybe shouldn’t know what the final dress that you pick. 🙂 good luck!
Post # 15
I wouldn’t want it…. but if you both want it, then do it!
Post # 16
I really wanted my FI to come with me too, but I didn’t take him because everyone kept telling me to hold out for the surprise. I started feeling like it maybe WAS bad luck for him to help me, and so I didn’t take him.
At one of my fittings I had a colossal melt down…long story short there were some alterations that had to be made to the dress…I knew about them before I bought it, but some how buying the dress and invisioning yourself on your wedding day were not the same things for me. SO…in comes the MELT DOWN.
I asked the lady at the shop if I could bring FI back because I really needed him to make the dress decision with me…I needed him to tell me it was the one and I looked beautiful.
So, from my experience I say take him! Plus, he won’t remember EXACTLY what the dress looks like (at least mine doesnt), and he won’t see you all done with the complete package. So, it will still be a surprise the first time he sees you.