- 6 years ago
My boyfriend and I (both 26) have been dating for just shy of two years. He is in the army (training to be an officer), and this fact does cause issues in our relationship due to the lack of time we can spend together. Aside from that, we have only ever had one serious argument and our relationship is great on most levels.
The topic of marriage arouse out of an argument about us living together. At the beginning of 2011 my bf suggested that we should think about moving in together before he gets posted after his officer training. That was the last we discussed the topic before October 2011 when I needed to move out of my current place and find another. I naturally believed this to be a perfect opportunity for us to move in together so asked my boyfriend about it.
Due to the fact that he is still in training, he is only able to live off base in the event that he is married OR in a de-facto relationship. However, in order to obtain defacto status you either have to be living together for three months or obtain a waiver from a commanding officer. Obviously, we couldn’t fulfil the first requirement so I asked my boyfriend to check with his CO about the possibility of getting a waiver – he agreed to this, but was incredibly vague about the whole thing. It came down to the crunch and I was having to look for an apartment, we ended up having an argument as I felt he was avoiding the topic altogether.
The argument ended when he stated ‘I wasn’t worried about getting de facto as I wanted to ask you to marry me in the summer’ (southern hemisphere here). It has been 5 months, summer has passed, and we still aren’t engaged and the topic has not been raised again.
Does it sound like he has moved on from the idea? Or is it more likely that he brought up the subject of marriage as a means to placate me?
I know the obvious answer to this is to talk to him about it. I would just like some opinions about how you would perceive the situation.