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I have looked around on here for awhile but haven't posted before. I'm trying to get some opions from you guys cause I'm very frustrated right now and don't know who to share this...
2 years ago, I found out I had AML (Acute lymphoblastic leukemia) and went through radiation and rounds of chemo. 6 months ago, I had an allogeneic bone marrow transplant that put me into remission. I still have GVHD, but that's a fair price to be alive. My FI was going through the whole ordeal with me and very supportive. After I got well, we decided to move on and get married. We proceeded to pick a date, put deposits down on the venue, church,photographer, videographer,etc... I also went ahead and order my wedding gown. However, I went for a annual checkup 2 weeks ago, and my blood test came out abnormal, I went for a bone marrow biopsy after that. So yesterday I got a call from my doctor telling me that I just relapsed :(. I don't know what to do guys...I haven't told my FI yet, I feel like all my dreams just crashed. I don't know if I should cancel the whole wedding thing and go with my chemo treatment which is scheduled on Monday.I don't want to be a bald bride :(
Hugs to you! I understand that you don't want to be a bald bride, but you need to go for your treatment. I am sure that wigs suck, but I would keep planning and go the wig route.
My best wishes to you!
I say you need to discuss this with your FI before calling anything off. I agree with LacrosseBride, go for the wig if you need to. I've never dealt with such an issue, but I can't imagine your FI would want to cancel the wedding. Good luck!
Awh, sweetheart, I am so sorry. Please stay strong!
Honestly, I know it's so much easier said than done, but I wouldn't focus on having no hair on your wedding day. You will radiate beauty with or without hair because you will be glowing with happiness. Hair isn't what makes us beautiful- I firmly believe it's our smile and personality that makes us beautiful. I can guarantee guests won't notice your wig- they'll notice your gorgeous gown, your radiant smile, and the apparent love between you and your FI.
I wish you nothing but all the best =)
Honey you HAVE to go to your chemo treatment! Weddings are important, but the rest of your life with the many you love is WAY more important! Tell your FH and decide if you want to proceed with the wedding now or postpone, but def get your treatment.
And I agree, you will be a beautiful bride with your own hair, no hair, or a wig. Good luck and hugs to you!
(Hugs and prayers). I'm so sorry. Good luck to you and get healthy soon.
Well how long will treatment last? How much time do you have before you really need to decide to cancel without incurring any (more) penalties than if you cancelled today?
First talk to your FI. You need to at least get that off your chest.
Then, I think you need to talk to your vendors about your options. If you postponed, as opposed to cancel, would you lose money? HOw long do you have? Make the decision after you have the info you need.
Chemo is a no-brainer. You MUST go. You also really need to talk to your fiance about this. There are some deeper issue here then just being a "bald bride". You need the support, and he is there for you. Rely on him right now, and trust him and yourself for that matter. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. I don't know you, but I wish I could give you a hug and tell you everything will be alright.
As for worrying about the hair issue... that's what really amazing wigs are for!! They make amazing one's now that look like your real hair!
My cousin is currently going through chemo and found an awesome wig to wear at her wedding; she was amazed that it looks even better than her hair did before she started treatment! The crazy thing is she found it at a thrift store for $10! :)
Anyways, you HAVE to go through with your chemo; you know it's what you need to do and what your FH would want you to do.
If you postpone the wedding, only do so because you aren't feeling up to it, not because you're worried about how you will look. There's no doubt in my mind you'll be a gorgeous bride. You need to be honest with your FH.
Message me if you ever need to talk! Best wishes to you!
If your FI has stuck with you through the whole ordeal, he'll want to stand by you now, too. Go ahead with the wedding. :) And good luck to you!!!
I say what better reason to HAVE a wedding so that you can have some pure happiness and a celebration during a difficult time! You deserve to have a beautiful day all about you and your love for each other now more than ever. Get that chemo and get a bangin' wig, you'll look gorgeous!
(((((HUGS))))) Talk to your FI and see what he wants to do. If I were you, I would go through with it. Like PP have said, you will look gorgeous on your wedding day and you deserve to be happy. Sometimes a day of celebration and love can take away from the suckfest that is chemo. A lot of my family and friends have gone through chemo and I always focus on what I can do to show my support and love because that is all I have to offer. If you are planning on wearing a veil with your dress, why not gether some friends, grab the vieil and go and try on some hair pieces to see how it looks?
hugs to you! don't carry this burden alone- let your friends and family in and share what's going on. i don't know how comfy you are with this idea, but what about not even using a wig? natalie portman rocked the bald look, and it might be more physically comfortable. also, those who love you will love you and support you no matter what, and you may look gorgeous with your natural look. also, i don't know a ton about chemo, but does your hair fall out right away? your wedding is relatively soon- maybe you won't have this issue by then? or maybe you can push the wedding up? either way, the hive is here to support you!
Dear, please don't cancel your wedding unless you truly don't feel well enough to deal with it. You need to go through with the chemo. Being a bald bride is brave and beautiful, even if you choose to wear a wig. It is inspiring! And best of all, when the wedding day is all over, you will be married to your wonderful, supportive fiance. Please tell him about the relapse. You need to get it off your chest. He will be there for you.
Best wishes for your marriage!
You should still have your wedding! You will be a beautiful blushing bride no matter what, everyone that will be at the wedding celebrating your day and your love for you and your FI will love you and support you. Your health is number one and whtaever you do will be right.
So much easier said than done, but the day is about you and your FI getting married, not your hair. I know that doesn't make it any easier and it is so easy for others to say. . . But I imagine he doesn't want to postpone because you may be bald. He probably can't wait to marry you! Discuss it with him. Do what is right for you! I agree with others that if you aren't feeling up to it of course that is understandable, but if you still feel up to it and want to get married, go for it!! Good luck, And keep being strong.
Also, just wanted to mention that my mother went through chemo and had the neatest wigs, so you could probably find something super awesome. Either way you will be beautiful, so just focus on eachother and getting healthy and growing old together :-)
Hugs to you. I can't even imagine what you are going through. Talk to your FI and decide what you guys want to do.
If you decide to cancel/postpone the wedding, explain the situation to your vendors and see if you can get your deposits back. A friend had to postpone her wedding because of her FI's medical issues and almost every vendor gave her the deposit back.
HUGS
You can't wait on the chemo... the longer you put it off, the harder it will be. You're engaged and getting married! Dont let hair change that! You can always wear a cute wig in any hairstyle you like and I'm sure you will look beautiful no matter what.
HUGE HUGS!
I think you should talk to your fiance. I think being a bald bride will be just as beautiful as being a bride with a full head of hair. Be proud of how strong you are and all that you've made it through!
I think you should let your FI decide if you guys should go through with the wedding or not. Not to be harsh, but the way I see it, this whole ordeal would prob. affect him more than you (depending on the outcome).
[[[HUGS]]] Let your FI, family and friends help you through this and FWIW I agree with @FutureLewi:
You sweet girl! Tell you fiance; he will help you decide. This might be an easier decision made if you two make it together.
Bless you and good luck dear.
Hugs! I'm really sorry you have to go through such ordeal..but I also think your treatment is important and your FI would want to be there for you so talk to him. If I could...I would totally give you my hair! I do wish for your speedy recovery. Good luck!
Big hugs! I say do the chemo and go forward with the wedding. You have awesome advice here from everyone!
Yikes! I'm so sorry to hear about everything you are going through.
Your post literally pushed me to finally register so I could post this comment. There was a post about a beautiful wedding with a bride facing a similar situation (sudden diagnosis with breast cancer), and she shared her experiences on A Practical Wedding. Link is here. Maybe that can help you explore some options that while they may not have been the original plan may work for you.
Ultimately, you need to do what is best for you, your FI, and your health. Good luck to you!
Thanks so much for your words of encouragement. I apologize for not replying sooner. Just know that I immensely appreciate your love and support (and patience) :] So I just told FI about my relapse, and he decided for us to get married in May anyway because he wants to be there for me no matter what,plus the wedding has been postponed twice because of my illness. But I'm afraid I would be too selfish marrying him now because he's such a wonderful guy, and he deserves someone better than me(he quit his job to be with me during my transplant in Seattle and his family got really mad at him for spending too much time and efforts on me), and what if I don't make it this time...
Your FI knows the risk and the sacrifice of your illness already and he still wants to marry you regardless. Cancer is not a reason to quit loving somebody and it sounds like he is more than willing to stand by your side. Marry him, be happy, and stay optimistic. I hope everything works out and you recover completley but in the mean time, live life to its fullest and enjoy the fact that you have a man in your life that you love and loves you. Good Luck.
Thanks for the update. I had cancer a few years ago and I can understand everything you are saying. I don't know what I would do but I am so happy to read that you will go forward with your wedding plans. Some PP mentioned wigs and hair loss, I am sure you know more about your chemo than I do, but there are so many that don't cause hair loss. Ask your doctors what the percent is of losing it. I had one with 94% chance of losing my hair and I didn't loss it all, it got pretty thin though. :) I am sure you know all about that though with your histroy. Anyway, there is an organization, Wish Upon A Wedding, that might be able to help cover some of your wedding costs, being sick can be very expensive and consuming. Best of luck!
@Phofe2774: Thanks for your info =] I will def check out that organization. As for the hair loss, I didn't lose all of my hair when I got chemo last time, it just got really thin, but my oncologist said I will be given different type of chemo this time, and it has very high chance of hair loss...but your story gives me hope.Thank you.
@swtTea: That's so sweet of you. Thank you =]
@All: I'm going for first round of chemo tomorrow. Your kind words and supports truly made me feel way better
my SO has been in remission since last march, he was given 3months to live before that, now hes had some tests done and they said there's abnormalities but they cant fid where the hell its coming from:( but so far hes doing ok... as someone that has ben on the other side, i say go for it, move up your wedding date if you must, he'll understand.
i can honestly say right now id marry my man in a heartbeat, in sickness and in health, he means the world to me... dont let things pass you by, live your life to the fullest, go after your dreams:)
i hope everything works out for you, PM me if you need to talk *hugs*
Hi. So so very sorry. I'm a survivor; stage III colon cancer -- 11 years out. But that's a curable (not a remission) cancer so I'm lucky. And I just got married (a second time) in June. As for you -- I love what the other PPs have told you, especially about not postponing joy. I also love the idea of your moving up your wedding date. Speak candidly with your doctors or one of the counselors at the hospital about all of this -- what side effects to expect (not just the hair thinning) from this chemo, etc. and then speak practically with your wonderful man about what you think you will and will not be able to do insofar as wedding planning is concerned. The folks you've contracted for venue, etc. will be extremely understanding and I truly believe they'll work with you on all of this, moving up or back of dates and so forth. Since you have such a flexible and supportive FI, I would work out the date dependent on the treatment program/side effects ahead, and your entire family (and his) will have to go along with precisely what is best for you. Take the very best care of yourself now; be good to your cells (they'll need it) and to your heart and psyche. If wedding planning will be fun and wonderful for you right now, go for it. If it will be stressful, put it aside. As for your hair -- my particular chemo generally doesn't result in hair loss so I got lucky there too, but there are really beautiful wigs out there and your hair (yours or not!) will look gorgeous for your wedding. I just know it! Keep us posted and hang in there girl!
I just want to add (for those of you who may be wondering or confused by a reference I made to remission cancer), I'm no doc, but a cancer can go into remission forever. And, the fact that the OP has already been in remission -- well, that may be a good sign that her cancer is responsive to treatment. Let us hope.
Hugs and prayers sent your way. I wish you the very best and hope you find yourself returning to full health.
Honey, I'm so sorry you're going through this...Glad to hear that you've made the decision to go to chemo as soon as possible and to still go ahead with the wedding. I wish you strength to get through the tough times. Please don't ever think he "deserves someone better", you know that's just feeling you down that makes you say that. He sounds like a guy who truly loves you and would agree that there's noone better than you for him, sick or healthy. It's exactly that unconditional love and support that will make your marriage a great one.
I can't relate to having deal with cancer, but I was diagnosed with a chronic condition recently. It's not deadly, but it's one of those things that makes daily life difficult. It also affects our sex life. I've been feeling sorry for myself lately because of it and feeling guilty for my husband. But you know what? I was saying the other day "my life will be miserable from now on" and my husband said cheerfully "maybe, but at least you'll have me to make your life great in other ways and give you foot rubs and we'll laugh a lot". I'm sure your sweetie feels the same way.
Finally, don't even sweat the hair thing...My doctor put me on a medication for my condition and warned me it'll cause hairloss. I was like "I don't care if I go bald as long as this thing goes away!". I rocked extensions at my wedding and nobody was wiser, I knew I could rock a wig too if I needed to. Keep your spirit up - lots of love and hugs!
*sending you hugs, positive energy, and prayers*
I wish you nothing but a wonderful outcome. hair or no hair, you will be a beautiful bride and more importantly, a wonderful wife. It sounds like your FH is pretty stellar himself. God bless you both <3
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