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Let me see if I have this correct: You already have your ring but your mom wants to give you her stone? If you're happy with your ring the way it is, maybe make your mom's stone into another piece of jewelry. Is the stone small enough that you could put it in your wedding band?
Instead of switching out the center stone, could you take your mothers diamond and make it into a necklace or another ring for you to wear? I used to work at a local jewlers and I know the owner would never melt down someone elses ring and re-do it. It's very costly and it's hard work. He would buy the ring off of them and use that money towards a new ring if that is what they wanted.
No... it's 1.33 carats. I would rather have it in my ring then my necklace (I have never lost a ring but I break necklaces all the time). And there is no way I can afford (right now to get an equivalent stone to make earrings.
@Black-Eyed-Susan: maybe make your mom's stone into another piece of jewelry <---- This is what I was thinking too.
ETA: Can you make it into a right-hand ring?
@Black-Eyed-Susan: I really like the idea of using it in your wedding band.
The ring you have is beautiful and I think the proportions would be off if you went with a smaller stone. It also sounds like your FI would prefer you keep the ring the way it is.
You could also consider designing a right hand ring with your mom's stone. That way, you have your engagement ring that symbolizes your relationship with your FI, but also a ring (that you could wear all the time) that symbolizes your friendship and connection to your mother.
Melting down a ring and remaking it isn't usually an easy task, and it's expensive. A jeweler would more than likely take your current ring and get you a new similar setting that would fit your new stone better.
What about have a right hand ring made with your mom's stone? That way you keep your original engagement ring plus have a bit of your mom with you always. :)
If you could find a place that would melt down your gold while still keeping your diamonds, it would be almost as expensive as custom making a ring because it is a ton of work to make a handmade custom ring.
And if you wanted the same setting with a bigger diamond, then you would still have to add diaonds in the band and halo to make it fit. Either way, you're going to spend a lot of money,
Couldn't you save up for a similar diamond to your mothers and then make them into a pair of earrings? Nothing needs to be done now.
I could never wear that big of a stone on my right hand.. ! My current center stone is .75 carats. My mom's is 1.33. I guess a little bit of me would like a bigger engagement ring. And I have this gorgeous stone just sitting here.
@TopazWedding: Why? Is it too flashy for you? I wouldn't think anything of it, esp. because it is your mom's ring.
What are you planning on doing with the original stone if you did switch it out? Sell it or keep it for another piece of jewelry?
Yes way too flashy! I rarely wear a plain silver ring, and having a huge diamond and smashing it would just kill me.
I was thinking right now to sell it, and possibly pay for whatever I wanted done with the new stone. But hearing that it's so hard, I really really need to think about it, especially we bought our wedding bands. And I really like that too..
I like everyone elses ideas of making another ring out of it, but It looks like you don't.
Do you think your FI might be a little upset that he picked your ring out & you don't want it anymore, though?
If I were to change it.. maybe.. I LOVE my setting, I do! I just want a bigger stone. It's a very confusing situation, and I feel selfish, I also told him that my mother was going to give me the stone and just pick out a setting. But he wanted to buy a ring all himself... Proud boy he is.
My mother has a diamond that she inherited when she got married that was also my grandmother's and my great-grandmother's. I didn't use it for my engagement ring, but what I'm doing is having it made into a necklace for me to wear on my wedding day. I'm doing that so I have something special and part of my family when I get married, but then I plan to put the necklace away in a safe to only be worn for special occassions because, like you, I don't wear many rings and I tend to lose necklaces. All I wear as a ring is a 2mm band that I've work for 16 years. I know you'd like to have a bigger stone now, but maybe if you went that route, you could have it for sentimental reasons but not fear you'll lose it, and then possibly upgrade it in a few years to a new setting. Once you've had your current ring for that amount of time, it's totally acceptable to upgrade and your fiance won't feel slighted because you're not wearing the diamond he picked out.
It's obvious this hurts his feelings.. Why would you want to do that? There is a reason he gave you the ring HE purchased, with the diamonds HE purchased. He's the type of guy that wanted the engagement ring to be only about the two of you, not your mother. I think you should focus on getting over your fear of wearing the bigger stone on the right hand and perhaps get a ring made with your mothers stone and your birthstones, and tell him that you love the ring he gave you as is, because you already said you do. There are so many more important things in life, and you can't always have the things you want exactly as you want them. Two diamonds rings.. WOO HOO!
ETA: I think your ring is BEAUTIFUL as is with the current proportions.
Maybe set your mom's as a solitaire and wear your current ring as a right hand ring? That way you can wear both?
TBH I think remaking your ring with your mother's stone would really hurt your FI's feelings. It sounds like he's just putting on a brave face to humor you. I think your ring is stunning as-is, and the proportions are perfect.
I'm all for putting family stones into engagement rings IF it's agreed upon ahead of time by both people in the relationship. This is different. It sounds like you just want to toss away what he spent time and consideration picking out for you in favor of making something that reminds you of your mother...you're cutting your FI out of the equation entirely and that doesn't seem right seeing since this is supposed to be a symbol of his commitment to you. If you want to wear your mother's diamond that badly, I think you should have a RHR made.
Just imagine if you got your FI a really beautiful watch. And he accepted it and wore it, but then one day his father gave him his watch, and your FI said to you, "You know, I like my father's watch face better. I think I'll swap the face out on the watch you gave me and put my father's one in. Only the metal band on the watch you gave me is too wide for his watch face, so I'll just have them melt it down and make a new one to fit it."
Wouldn't you feel like your gift no longer had any significance?
Your ring is beatiful, and it's so meaningful because your FI picked it out and seems to be proud of that (as he should LOL). I would suggest bringing the diamond to a jeweler and making a RHR out of it, maybe something with your birthstones?
I agree with linguo42: I think your ring is beautiful the way it is and should be a symbol of your relationship with your FI. That said, what if you saved your mom's stone (maybe get it put in a simple solitaire setting for now for safe keeping) and then maybe in the future have your FI design/pick out a ring for the stone and have it be an upgrade/anniversary ring?
I think your ring is gorgeous, don't change it and hurt your fi's feelings just because you have an extra diamond. Make it mean something. Or like PP's said, make it a right hand cocktail ring for special occations. I have a huge cocktail ring that was my grandmother's that means the world to me (technically it is my mom's until she gives it to me) but it's big and I wouldn't wear it everyday, but for special occations (I'm borrowing it for my wedding) it makes a great ring and it's even more sentimental since it's not an everyday piece of jewelry.
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I love my ring.. and would totally keep it the way it was, if I didn't get my mothers stone. My mom is my best friend and would be so honored to have a piece of her, and her story with me at all times. The problem is it's a little less then double the size of my current stone. I have gone to some jewelers and they said that because of my setting there was no way they could put my moms diamond in there. And my FI has been a tad wierd about it (he's better now). I was wondering if you would personally go to a custom jeweler and see if they can take your ring now, and maybe melt it down (can they do this??) and rebuild my setting with the new diamond in it?