Should I chill out or do I have a right to be annoyed?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@nawella:  I think you have a right to be frustrated. Sounds like your aunt is probably well meaning, but is just not getting how busy your schedule will be and is choosing dates that are convenient for her. Since she is not wanting to talk or email to you directly, I think the best thing to do would be talk to her at Thanksgiving face to face as you planned, and lay out ALL of your commitments that you will have to be dealing with in May and how busy you will be. Can you maybe get your mom to be your ally and help you talk with your aunt?

 

Post # 4
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@nawella:  I kind of see both sides…I would be frusterated but I think she is doing everything with good intent. Maybe tell her that it may be best to skip the shower and you will just come by and do a dinner celebration with her and others?

 

Post # 5
Hostess
3787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@nawella:   I get why you’re annoyed, i totally do. And you feel how you feel, that’s valid. 

But if you can’t do Monday, you can’t do it. “Thanks so much for your offer, but I can’t do Monday.” 

Why she can’t do July is irrelevant (So is why you can’t do Memorial day. You just can’t! lol) But I suspect she might want to do the shower earlier than the month before because it will help spread out the costs of all the presents and stuff from your guests. Coughing up a shower gift, a bachelorette party (gift and costs add up), and a wedding present + clothes all in the space of about a month can be downright frustrating, even if your friends are thrilled for you. 

At the end of the day, the shower is a party where you will likely walk away with $1000+ of free presents. I think it’s worthwhile to meet in the middle and go for any spring day other than Memorial day. 

I know how stressful grad school gets in the spring, but I also know how much all grad students (myself included, back in the day) procrastinate. At the end of the day, it’s not really that hard to compensate for a weekend day with stellar time management for the two weeks before. 

Hope that helps.

 

Post # 6
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@nawella:  She is being generous, and as long as it’s not on the Monday maybe just chill out a bit.

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