(Closed) should i confront him?help

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You should have EVERYTHING out on the table. Definitely tell him how you feel, what you saw, etc. It does sound fishy but to be honest with you, even if he is not cheating, the fact that you are wondering about it is a huge red flag and an issue that needs to be addressed between you.

Post # 4
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yeah you have to ask about it or it would drive you crazy.  Just explain what happened, and why you were in his email and what you saw.  I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation if theres nothing else indicating infidelity.

Post # 5
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Yea I would ask. Its the only way to ever know.

Post # 6
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Wow there is absolutely no way I could hole that in. I had a problem like this when I first started dating my FI, he is very handsome and was in nursing school with all women. So I became very insecure. I looked through his phone and if I found anything I told him and no he wasn’t happy I did that but it made me feel better to knwo everything. He was not happy but I told him that I was scared and did not want to be made a fool of and if he had nothing to hide he would have no problem me looking when it made me nothing but more secure. I became secure and stopped looking and knew I could trust him because he always did anything I asked that would make me fell better.

Bring it out and tell him, or wait and see if she emails him soemthing else to feel like you knwo more of what is going on, then decide what you want to do.

Post # 8
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I would not “confront him” I would talk to him about it calmly.

If you’re engaged and he knows you have the password it isn’t really snooping. My husband and I have each others passwords for facebook/email/etc.. we never look at eachothers accounts, but we’re open. Some people don’t like living that kind of way, but it keeps everyone honest 🙂

Post # 9
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

wow.

first thing is not to over react though, even if some girl sent him pictures that does not mean he cheated. my first thought would be junk mail but the pictures would prob be more revealing not of her with a young boy!

a marriage cant be build on lies but just remember it certainly be built on assumptions.

the phone thing would be strange to deal with because if its just a work phone then why would he be worried about you looking at it?

the only thing you can do at this point is tell him, honesty is the best policy. just say something like this: the other night i was very angry at you and wrote you an email that i shouldnt have.. it said some things i thought about and it was only in the heat of the moment and when i cooled down i realised i didnt even feel this way. sooo i went and deleted it and while i was in your account i saw pictures of somone etc etc.

well thats what i would do anyway! i wouldnt yell or accuse him of anything this will just make him more angry. if anything play the ” poor me card” men cant resist it.

good luck!

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