Should I cut ties with my dad? (long)

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: should I cut ties with my dad?
    Yes : (27 votes)
    84 %
    No : (4 votes)
    13 %
    You nee to think long and hard about it : (1 votes)
    3 %
    other (explain please) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3089 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @wistfulMrstobe:  Honestly, I don’t think you should continue to try to have any kind of relationship with him.  For him to get mad at you, his daughter that he has never known, for not giving him money is absolutely ridiculous.  It’s not your fault that he made the choices that he did in life, and unfortunately it doesn’t seem like being locked up in prison has changed him for the better.  I think for both emotional and financial sake, you should cut ties with him.  I’m sorry you’re having to go through this =(

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    2571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    OP, my dad has asked and tried guilting me into giving him money – he has none due to poor choices and for him to ask his only child to support him is ridiculous. 

    I’d cut him out.  Not worth the heartache.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @wistfulMrstobe:  It’s that tiny little part of your brain screaming “but it’s your DAD”…  Trust me, you need to begin igoring that part of your brain for your own self preservation.  I wasn’t like that when he first started pulling his stuff years ago – I speak like this now only after years of feeling guilty, giving in, talking to him, only to be let down and angered by his actions again.

    Save yourself the years… Let him go.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1179 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I voted no but I mean’t yes you should cut ties with him. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    2355 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Another one who voted “no” on accident. I’m all for keeping family around, but this is a different scenario. Cut ties and move on with your life.

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    The only one he has to blame is himself.  He doesn’t sound like he wants a relationship.  He wants your monetary “support”.  You’re his daughter, not an ATM.  Until he can show you that he genuinely wants to know you as a person, I would stay away and save yourself the grief of trying to care for a man who treats you like a piggy bank.

    I hope that one day he will see the error of his ways.  I’m also sorry he pulled the wool over his own father’s eyes, but I can understand your grandfather as a mother myself. As loving and caring parents, we desperately want to believe the best of our children.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3598 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    He doesn’t really want a father/daughter relationship.  He’s just trying to get money out of you.

    Post # 14
    Member
    11300 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @mrs_pudding_pop:  It’s that tiny little part of your brain screaming “but it’s your DAD”…  Trust me, you need to begin igoring that part of your brain for your own self preservation.

    YES.

    I did grow up with my mother, but she started this whole asking me for money business almost as soon as I moved out. It was ridiculous, considering I made just above minimum wage and had bills to pay. I ended up finally having to tell her no more–I was unemployed and finishing my degree, and she was STILL asking me for money. I got $500/mo in unemployment and still had to pay rent, gas, food, etc. I had enough and said NO. She stopped talking to me after that (and by that I mean she stopped texting me to ask for money because she never contacted me otherwise). People don’t get it, but, really, when your parent only hits you up when they need something? Before that, my mother had emailed me about the trailer they’d just bought. I responded positively and told her that I was graduating from college on x date at y time. She responded several days later, completely ignoring my college graduation, and asked me to help her move. Her only child is graduating college, something she did not do, and she ignores it. Cool.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1112 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @wistfulMrstobe:   *hugs*

    I’m sorry you’re having to go through all of this.  I had to cut my dad out of my life too.  For different reasons, but the guilt we feel is the same.  But why do we feel guilty? Because there’s a blood tie? That’s it really.  I learned over time, that family are the people who care and make the effort to be a positive force in your life, blood or no blood.

    Now, with the con-artist aspect, i have experience.  My mum dated one when i was in my teens. He was the NICEST guy to your face, seemed so generous, but the catch was he was being generous with other people’s money.  When he tapped my mum dry, he robbed a bank and was caught.  Even tho my mom had to declare bankruptcy, she still visited him in jail because she thought he loved her.  Ever after TWO OTHER WOMEN from accross the country contacted her and explained that he had done the same thing to them, she still struggled to move on.  This is because con-artists are SO GOOD at acting. This is why it’s important for you to not visit him face to face and for you to cut ties.  He will use your kindness and compassion against you, and suck you dry. 

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @wistfulMrstobe:  I have a dead beat dad and he was very similar, I got in contact with him at the ageof 14 and it was very obvious from the start that he should not be in my life. There is the family you are born from and then there is the family you find along the way. He isn’t a dad and only deserves the appreciation for being apart of your creation. You don’t need or deserve this in your life. You are going to be okay darling

     

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