- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I wrote a post yesterday about this, and things have gotten worse. In short, my Fiance was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and has become extremely depressed. He is taking his depression out on me and has called off the wedding twice, only to apologize the next day. Today, he said that he is pushing me away because then, when he kills himself, it won’t hurt either of us as bad.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried so hard to be supportive. I’m going to therapy and encouraging him to come, and I’ve found free therapists in the area and suggested that he go. He is so low right now and, as he put it, “just wants out.” (I assume that means both of our wedding and of life.) He does not seem to understand how much this is hurting me, and he just keeps projecting all his frustration with his illness onto me.
He got this depressed once before, and after months of trying to support him, I broke up with him. We got back together after he was handed a new job and his parents paid for him to go on antidepressants (which he refuses to go back on).
I feel like there are two possible things going on here:
1: I need to just continue supporting him because this is the time that he needs me most. I need to cut him slack for the terrible way that he’s been treating me. I have to just stick it out and be supportive because we love each other, in good times and bad.
or, 2: I’m an idiot for staying in this emotionally abusive relationship. I should leave him because I can’t help him out of this (and he doesn’t want to be helped, or to get out of it. He wants to die.) Staying here is unhealthy for me and not doing him any good.
What should I do, bees? Please help. I’m getting my heart broken every day. I don’t know how much more I should take.