Should I even bother?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I bother to have a family vow renewal?
    Yes. You don't want to regret it. : (4 votes)
    8 %
    No. It would be better with just you and your husband. : (46 votes)
    92 %
  • Post # 3
    2355 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    This one sounds pretty simple to me. Just do an intimate thing with the two of you. 90% of the post is in support of that idea.

    ETA: and maybe keep hubby away from the alcohol this time? O.O




    Post # 5
    8850 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    Your family sounds fairly awful. Good for you if you want to forgive them etc, but I sure wouldn’t throw a big party for them…

    Post # 6
    1613 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @TakeTwo:  Do you have dear friends? Church members? I would have something beautiful and small, maybe at a winery or a bed and breakfast, and invite them only.

    Post # 7
    2124 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @TakeTwo:  I would not even associate myself with them at all after they shunned me. And also, if they felt that way about the elopement …. no offense but I don’t think they would want to come to your vow renewal.

    Post # 8
    2915 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

    I don’t see any upsides to having any big event from what you wrote.

    Post # 9
    165 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I would just take a kick-ass vacation with the hubs and have a small gathering with friends!

    Post # 10
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    A vow renewal should be a time of joy for you. I don’t even see the point of inviting unsupportive family members if they have been so horrible in the past. I agree with a PP — if you have dear friends, then invite them! 

    Post # 11
    150 posts
    Blushing bee

    @TakeTwo:  I would renew only with friends. I’d only include the family if they sincerely aplogize for what they have done to you and show a strong sign that they won’t be negative any more. Letting it go and forgiving is very different and I believe a true forgiveness requires actions from both side. I think it’s great of you letting the negativity go, but I wouldn’t make another chance to bring a new one. Make it happy – with people you love and people love you!


    Post # 13
    5208 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @TakeTwo:  (((((((((hugs))))))))) I’m so sorry that your family is like they are. Remember, we can’t control other people, we can only control how we react to them. If you are sure that your family is going to ruin your renewal, then don’t invite them. I know that it is a tough choice, but it sounds like you are setting yourself up for failure if you let them come. Can you have a family meeting about this? Sit people down and be direct about what your expectations are? Do you think having the event will make them more supportive of your marriage, maybe heal some hurt feelings? If you feel like it is not worth the drama, maybe you and your hubby could have a DW and just invite a few close friends. You could still buy a kick ass dress and have a beautiful ceremony and reception.

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