(Closed) Should I even go to this wedding?!!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I go to the wedding
    go alone : (4 votes)
    4 %
    go and bring my boyfriend along : (1 votes)
    1 %
    don't go : (88 votes)
    95 %
  • Post # 3
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I would be offended, it’s clear you’re B-list last minute invite. I wouldn’t go or send a gift/card

    Post # 4
    2416 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wouldn’t be afraid to confront her, or to not attend at all.

    Honestly, if we are the “B” list, I tend to not give people as much money as a gift…It may be petty, but if I’m not on the “A” list than we aren’t as close to warrant the type of gift I would give to a closer friend.

    Post # 5
    572 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    “I feel as though she wasn’t going to invite me in the first place, and i was only an afterthought.”

    If this is how you really feel, I don’t believe you should go at all. You either want to try and stay friends with this person or you don’t feel like a friend. And if that’s the case, why go?

    And I really don’t suggest going unless you put thought into it and bring a gift. Why show up if your heart isn’t really in it?

    Post # 6
    46258 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would base the decision on whether or not I wanted to reatain her friendship. If she’s not part of my life, I likely wouldn’t go.

    Post # 7
    229 posts
    Helper bee

    Geesh. A facebook chat invite? That’s pretty bad. I think the questions to ask yourself are

    1. Would you have wanted to go to this wedding in the first place? I get the impression that you and your old roommate are not really friends–definitely not close friends–anymore.

    2. If you go to the wedding, will you be feeling inwardly offended/resentful the entire time? If the answer is yes, I would say definitely do not go.  

    Personally, I don’t think it’s fair to accept the invitation and then go to the wedding harboring ill feelings / not giving even a small gift, etc. (Not really sure why you’d be going in that case– to catch up with other friends?) I think you are perfectly justified in turning down the invitation and not sending a card/gift. The way she went about inviting you would make me feel offended as well! My advice is simply to choose your course of action (go/move past the offense or don’t go/be offended) and then stick to it. 

    Post # 8
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I wouldn’t go, if you aren’t happy about going and barely have a relationship with this girl wish her luck with her wedding and marraige and say you can’t attend.

    Post # 9
    1370 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Personally, I wouldn’t go. Like you said it sounds like you were invited last minute. If you decide to go, don’t take your boyfriend. He wasn’t invited so that would be rude on your part.

    Post # 10
    245 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I agree with the other posters.  Just don’t go. Going and bringing your boyfriend would just be spiteful and make you look bad.  

    Post # 11
    2442 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Don’t go. You were not invited as the others were.  You didn’t even get a formal invitation after everyone else.  Life goes on.  Friendships come and go.  She has moved on with her life.  You should do the same.  You and your Boyfriend or Best Friend go out to dinner (or whatever the two of you like to do) that same evening if you think not being there will bother you.  

    Post # 12
    5891 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2012

    i’m going to sound like a witch, but i wouldn’t even rsvp for this wedding.  if she calls to follow up, just tell her you didn’t receive an invitation, so you didn’t think you were actually invited.  what a classy lady.

    Post # 13
    500 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I wouldn’t go, the only thing I might do it put a card in the mail on the wedding day to say congratulations.

    Post # 14
    2053 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I think that if you have to ask if you should go, then you shouldn’t. 

    Post # 15
    685 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I wouldn’t go.  If you guys don’t even talk anymore, why would you even waste your time or money. 

    Post # 16
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Like PPs said, if you don’t want her in your life then I would definitely not attend. 

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