Post # 1
I have recently picked our wedding date and I have just realized that one the date we have selected falls on a friends 30th birthday.. I wouldnt say she is a super close friend, but she is dating one of my FH’s really close friends so she will obviously be invited. I’d like to think she won’t be upset in any way as she is a pretty easy going girl but I know 30 is a big one and some people like to go all out for this… I immediately felt a little bit bad when I realized we would be taking her thunder if you will…. Should/Would it be nice if we did something quick for her at the reception like announcing her birthday and maybe a little cake?!
I am not wanting to change the date but I just want to make sure I am not being rude/mean.. I only realized over the weekend the date felll on her exact birthday and the wheels are pretty much in motion at this point so there really isnt any turning back!
Post # 2
Don’t feel bad. Every day is SOMEONE’S birthday! A card or a little birthday cupcake would be nice. I don’t think announcing to everyone that it’s her birthday would be necessary unless she likes the attention.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2015 - Contemporary Art Center of Peoria
I think it’s really really hard to choose a wedding date. Trying to line up a venue, photographer, catering, etc is stressful enough. I don’t mean to be blunt, but she’s not your family. So it’s not something you need to worry about.
If she wants to go “all out” for her birthday and not come to your wedding, then sh*t, her loss!
But on the flip side, she could be dreading 30 and maybe she would like a distraction? Haha. 😉
Either way, you shouldn’t feel bad. Like you said, no turning back now. If you switched the day to non-holidays, non-long-weekends, non-birthdays, etc, you’d never get married.
Post # 4
You are never going to have a wedding date that does not 100% conflict with something. If it isn’t a birthday, it will be an aniversary, or an obsecure holiday that you didn’t hear about until someone brought it up.
If she isn’t a close friend, I wouldn’t make an anouncment. If it was a family member or a member of the wedding party, I would do something. From the sound of it, she wouldn’t be there if she wasn’t a friends date. In that situation, I wouldn’t want someone announcing my birthday to a crowd of strangers.
Post # 5
LWatson1618: Like others have said, every date will have a conflict of some sort with someone. I wouldn’t announce or do anything other than wish her happy birthday if you remember on the day of. If it’s a big deal to her, she will RSVP no and you’ll totally understand why.
I am attending a wedding on the weekend one of my best friends is turning 30 – I just couldn’t see saying no to a major life event (sorry – wedding trumps birthday!) of a friend just because it’s someone’s birthday. There’s always a later date that you can celebrate!
Post # 6
You get one wedding day. She gets a birthday every year. Don’t worry about it. And don’t bother singling her out for special attention.
Post # 7
You ladies are so right..And getting this date nailed down was hard enough! I guess I just wanted to make sure I wasnt being an ass if I chose to not acknowledge it other than making sure in person I wish her a very happy birthday.. I figure the open bar will make up for it in some way 😛
Thank you for your feedback!
Post # 8
You’ll always be searching for a date if you took that into consideration.
Honestly, our wedding day was my MOH’s mom’s 50th birthday and my uncle’s 60th birthday. I purposely placed them at the same tables because my MOH made them their own special birthday cake to share 🙂
Post # 9
LWatson1618: Don’t feel bad. My FI and I are getting married two days before my best friend’s birthday and three days before my sister’s birthday. Neither even gave it any thought when I selected the date. My friend attended her sister’s wedding on her 21st birthday. She said it was awesome because it was free food, free cake, and an open bar, PLUS the entire family came together to celebrate her birthday and the wedding.
The way I would look at it is like my friend did: Hey, free cake, food, and booze on my birthday, plus lots of dancing and being surrounded by friends? Couldn’t ask for more! Not everyone does things on their actual birthday, either. I’m sure it’s fine.
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
I wouldn’t announce it unless she’s the attention type. Maybe put a birthday card or little extra something at her place at the table?
My date is the night before my future-sister-in-law’s bithday so I hope she wanted a sister this year!
Post # 11
- Wedding: December 2014 - Norton Country Club
It was so hard for us to find the “right” date too… only to hear one of my cousins say, “But that’s my birthday!” I told her I’d bring the cake. if she would come. She’s actually excited and says she’ll never forget our anniversary this way!
Post # 12
I wouldn’t. Finding a date is hard. If I had waited until next spring to have our wedding… it would have overlapped with birthdays or other things going on.
A friend of mine got married on her husbands mom’s birthday… so it happens.
Post # 13
LWatson1618: A friend of mine was just a groomsman in a wedding that was on his birthday. We joked about it pointing out that he got a huge party with his friends on someone elses dime.
I don’t think it really matters. I made sure to avoid sibling birthdays and other anniversaries when we picked our date, but it actually wasn’t that hard for us to do. Even though there are a lot of may dates in my family, they all fell during the week this year so it worked out.
Post # 14
- Wedding: Cottage on the Creek
lol I went to a wedding on my bday last year. FI’s friend from high school. I was “mad” but sort of jokingly as we usually just go to dinner for my bday and so we went out the night after. I also got free food & booze (via the wedding) and even cake which my FI slyly (and quietly/unabtrusively to the wedding) sang me happy birthday with. Overall, great day. I think your friend might make a slight joking comment but I would never ever plan your wedding around birthdays!!!
Post # 15
One of my friends had a brithday the day before my wedding. She is a close friend so most of the peopel there she knew. BEfore I coudl even say happy birthday, she came to me and said thanks for throwing her a prty with free cake food and booze for all her friends! Love her!