Should I feel guilty about TTC due to my job?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
  • poll: Should I feel guilty?
    Yes you should feel guilty : (1 votes)
    2 %
    No you should not feel guilty at all : (40 votes)
    95 %
    Other.. I will explain below : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    220 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    First up, congratulations!  I completely understand why you feel guilty (I’m a teacher too, and I know leaving my class/school for maternity leave will be hard), but you shouldn’t!  I think that most teachers always put everyone else first, and sometimes we have to realize we (and our families) come first.

    Also, teachers generally want to have kids.  I think that most principals realize that a young, getting married teacher will be going on maternity leave at some point soon.

     

    Good luck!

    Post # 3
    Member
    4893 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Wait you’re taking an entire year of leave after your wedding just to TTC and be pregnant?

    I personally would feel bad about taking the position knowing I would be going on leave for more than just a standard 8-12 weeks. That’s just me though. I don’t see anything wrong with taking the job and having a baby, and taking a standard maternity leave, then coming back. That’s just part of life and you can’t put your life on hold for a job. However, taking the job only to leave for a full year a short time later is not okay in my book.

    I am part of a non-profit within my industry and we hired a girl to run the office who knew she was pregnant. That in itself was not a problem, however she took the position knowing that she most likely wouldn’t come back after having her baby…but she wouldn’t tell us that. We invested all this time on her, she has her baby, and when her maternity leave time was up THEN she tells us she’s not coming back. That put us in a huge lurch and was just really not a great professional move.

    Post # 4
    Member
    9533 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Feeling guilty accomplishes absolutely nothing for either you or the school. Accept the job or don’t. TTC or don’t. But don’t make a decision and then wallow in guilt. 

    I think accepting the job was the right thing to do. And I think it’s fine to start TTC according to you plan. Be honest with the school, so that they can plan, if you get preggers. But feeling guilty doens’t help anything.

    Post # 5
    Member
    9533 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    starfish0116:  8-12 weeks isn’t standaard everywhere. There are lots of countries where a year (or two) is the standard.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2869 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    A year of leave after the baby? You must not be in the US bc you wouldn’t still have a job if you plan to leave for that long. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    42522 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Fortunately there are countries who are much more progressive when it comes to maternity, paternity and parental leave.

    kfiorita:  Feeling guilty is a waste of energy. Your principal knows you are young and maried. He likely anticipates that you will start a family.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4893 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    JenGirl:  Well if the OP lives somewhere that a year maternity leave is standard I’m sure her employer is used to that, and probably assumes hiring a young female who is engaged will mean that children will most likely follow. In that case, if it’s the norm there, she shouldn’t be worried about it.

    Post # 9
    Member
    354 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    Here in the UK you can take up to a year. I took 9 months with my little girl. Don’t feel guilty he/she knows you are engaged & will probably be starting  a family pretty soon, x

    Post # 10
    Member
    598 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015 - Dreams Las Mareas - Costa Rica

    dont feel guity! If you are taking the standard amount of maternity leave then that is your right and im sure the principal knows that when hiring women.  Its not going to be a shock that a married 23 year old got pregnant…lol

    Take the job and let life take its course… you might take a few months to get pregnant so you never know how soon you will be on leave

    Congrats and good luck!

    Post # 12
    Member
    3344 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

    This is all moot until you’re actually pregnant anyway.  I thought getting pregnant would be a breeze and had worried myself sick with planning everything within an inch of its life.  Turns out, it’s not so easy for a lot of people.  It took us about 5 months to conceive.  Maybe you’ll get pregnant right away, and maybe you won’t.  But you have nothing to feel guilty about because nothing has happened.  And even when you do start a family, that’s nothing to feel bad about.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2166 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Don’t feel guilty.  Getting married and starting a family is something many people do. You won’t be the first teacher to do it and you won’t be the last.  Don’t worry over something that hasn’t happened yet.  

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