Should I feel guilty for asking FI's brother to move out?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

100% you did. I’m not sure where his sense of responsibility is. He is an adult and not under the care of you or FI. He gave no thought to where he was living because he was getting a free ride but I bet he’s thinking about it now. Let him be someone else’s headache. You extended the olive branch (and your home) long enough.

Post # 4
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Do NOT feel guilty for this!!!!

I am in a similar situation, and at first I was worried, Hes going to be family and here I am kicking him out, but thats the thing. hes going to be family. And you don’t want him to think that means he deserves a free ride. I think you were nice enough to let him have longer than initially agreed on, specially if you’re letting him stay for free, and without any household duties. There may be some guilty feelings now, but imagine if you let him stay – those feelings might start to turn into something a little closer to hate.  I say you’re making a good decision.

Post # 5
1231 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@weddingbee098:  That would be frustrating. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable because:

1. It has been long enough and he is not paying for anything.

2. A new place to live should be his first priority.

Don’t feel guilty.

Post # 7
296 posts
Helper bee

I would approach as either asking him extactly how long he plans on staying as a way to lead into him either moving out or paying rent. But also make sure your Fi is on the same page before you approyour the brother though. Another thing to keep in mind is he being handy around the house with chores and buying food might be something to take intoconsideration when room & board come into play.

Post # 8
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Totally don’t feel guilty. Hes old enough to take care of himself and was totally taking advantage of you.

Post # 9
7573 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would stay out of it. Your FI should be the one to ask him to move out if you both agree that he needs to go. I would try not to be too put out by him not saying thank you – he’s 21, right? I know I was a bit dim when I was a teen and in college. He may not realize he’s acting inappropriately. 

Post # 13
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Wow, at first I was a little hesitant that you only gave him 3 days notice to move out…but shit, after hearing how financially irresponsible he is and that he declined being a groomsmen for his own brother!? I would be fine if you said you had put all his belongings on the front lawn! 😉

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