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I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, but it is up to her to choose who she wants as bridesmaids. She must have had reasons for choosing as she did, and she isn't required to share them. Please remember that you were part of the wedding - you were there! You weren't wearing a matching dress and holding a bouquet, but really that's about all that a bridesmaid does. I don't think that boycotting her wedding because you don't like the bridal party choices was the right thing for your relatives to do.
@allieluvs21: while everything kitkat said was true....let's be real here: OF COURSE YOU FELT LEFT OUT. I'd feel incredibly hurt and sad. I don;t know if you should or even can say anything at this point, it's done and overwith...but yeah, you're feeling are totally justified. I'd be so confused. .. As i'm sure many of the guests of the wedding were too?
@TurtleDoves: THANK YOU!!! Exactly My point, I understand that she got to choose who she wanted, but at least tell me and my sister you decided to have his sisters instead, Thank YOU for understanding
@KitKatNYC: This isn't the point. The point is that OP felt left out because her sister didn't choose her as a bridesmaid without explanation. I would be so pissed.
@redheadem: Thanks:) I get criticsm, but Kitkat was just rude
I think I would be upset too. But I am surprised that it upset your grandmother and father enough to not attend the wedding. That seems harsh. I mean, ultimately it was her choice. Was there other factors involved?
@eeniebeans: Hi EENie, yes there were other factor involved on my gmom's part but it was a factor
I recently attended my FSIL wedding all the groom had a brother he was best man, his wife was MOH there two boys were page boys. FSIL had her daughter as flowergirl, her little sister as bridesmaid, her other brother as Usher and mum and dad walked her down the aisle. My FI her big brother... nothing didn't even get an invite to the last minute, our kids weren't involved or anything.
There was no reason for this at all she had been asked to be a bridesmaid at our wedding way before this and her daughter a flower girl. and money was not an issue
My FI acted like he didn't care as men do but he did. He actually told me to post on this that you have every right to be upset its like she was playing favourites with her sisters which is unfair.
As a result of my FSIL's actions she is no longer a bridesmaid why should I include her in my wedding if she can't include her own brother when she included everyone else
The circumstances as outlined would have left me feeling some kind of way as well. She never should have asked you to begin with. All that flip flopping "your in, your out" certainly didn't help matters. At minimum she should have given you a heads up about the changes after inviting you to be BM, then recinding, then adding more poeple to the party. Its a given that she was under no obligation to ask you and can do as she pleased. However, all the back and forth was unecessary and lacked tact.
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My sister recently got married and at first didnt want a bridal party just her and my FBIL, which was fine. but then I get a call a month or 2 before the wedding saying i have to go with her to choose BM dresses because now I am in the wedding. I said No problem. Then the weekend comes and i go over to my mothers house and say "ok when do we need to go get dresses" she says she changed her mind she's only going to have my other sister. (background I have 3 sister 4 of us total;) Again i didn't complain i said ok maybe shes having just one on her side and one on the grooms no biggie. Then during the engagment party which, my sister and I did she says the people in her party are as follows: MOH her BFF, BM - My sister and THE GROOMS 2 SISTER, Bestman: The GROOMS BEST FRIEND and GM the GROOMS STEPDAD AND HIS 2 BROTHERS! are we seeing a pattern here? My youngest sister and I were upset and I feel we have the right to be, My sister has always been the one to allow whoever she is dating dictate what she does. My family was highly upset with her, my grandmother and father didn't even attend the wedding. I mean I love my sister dearly and the wedding was beautiful and we had a great time, but i just wish i felt Part of it