- 4 years ago
- Wedding: April 2015
Well, since this board is anonymous, I may get some good feedback regarding this topic, I have been thinking about it for a long time. I apologize for the long post beforehand! =)
Let me preface this by saying my dad now (whom my mother remarried) is my DAD, and no one else will be as good of a father as he has to me and no one can replace him, not even my biological father.
Anyways, my biological dad cheated on my mom, left her and me for that other woman, when I was about 2-3 years old. I still have vivid memories of him and know that he loved me at that time. However, I have never seen or heard from him since he left. I don’t know if that’s because my mom won’t allow him to, or because he just doesn’t care anymore about me.
My mom remarried my dad now when I was probably 3.5 years old. We had a great life together as a family. Because I was so young, my mom thinks I don’t remember anything about my biological dad, so my parents raised me like a I’m their biological kid, and never mentioned anything else. BUT I remember everything like it was a dream. Sometimes, I thought it was a dream, but when I actually found a baby book with my biological dad in it, I knew it wasn’t.
My family immigrated to the states when I was 10 years old. I had a normal life, went back to my home country to visit several times since. One time during the visit, my mom’s childhood friend approached me at dinner, asked me if I wanted to see my dad (my biological dad). I pretended like I didn’t understand what she’s talking about because my dad is right there, at dinner with us. I didn’t want my parents to get upset and think that I know my biological dad exists and that I remember everything… so I just ignore it.
Well, years past since that incident, and I can’t help but wonder why that lady asked me that question… is it because my biological dad is trying to reach out to me?
I have so many unaswered questions in my head… like did he love me, why did he leave, why didn’t he contact me all these years or try to make contact, hows his new wife, do I have step siblings I don’t know about? ETC…
Now that I am an grown adult, I don’t know if I should try and find my biological dad?! I feel so weird. I don’t want my mom to know that I know… I don’t know if it will hurt her and my dad now?
I mean, I don’t even know where to start if I did try to go find him. lol. I could ask my mom’s childhood friend, but that means, my mom will find out that I’m looking for him.
I also do NOT feel comfortable confronting my mom. I don’t know what she has been through nor the details of their divorce years ago.
Right now, I’m just curious. Should I secretly try to find my biological dad? Any advice, bees? I’m pretty confused.