- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I’m sure a few of you are sick of my Bridesmaid or Best Man dress woes but another thread as inspired me to get some advice from the hive and other brides about my own Bridesmaid or Best Man dress drama…
Here’s some backstory:
After much hard work involving research & etc, I have chosen this champagne Ann Taylor dress beacuse it is silk & goes with our wedding colors, GMs suits, & my dress.
And it was on sale for $60!
I have 6 BMs and 6/6 like the dress style, 5/6 like the color…
I have 2 pale BMs, 1 white girl that tans lightly and 3 that are olive skinned.
My wedding is at the end of the summer so I wanted champagne dresses cuz they are light and summery and still formal and very pretty and go with the groom’s choice of vest.
I emailed everyone this photo of the bridal party:
There is ONE Bridesmaid or Best Man telling me she doesn’t want the champagne color because she feels it will wash the white girls (her) out and she is adamently against tanning or spray tan…
SHe SAYS its my choice but with these words in an email when I asked her what she thought of the champagne dress that I love:
“Its alright. I do think we will be washed out. I feel like its too similar to ivory too and that it might look unbalanced if the boys are in dark blue and we are all in light colored.”
I told her in a reply email:
“I don’t think it will be bad with everyone’s hair down and the contrast with the light dresses against the dark suits says summer evening wedding to me and I want to avoid everyone being in dark colors because its going to be September and most likely still warm.”
She responded with this:
“Okay, thats fine. You asked my opinion, but its your decision, I would like to have a dress I would feel pretty in and want to wear again.”
I was kinda hurt/offended but I responded with:
“Yep, I asked for everyone’s input to get an idea of things so thanks for being honest. Of course I want everyon to feel pretty too and thats why Im trying so hard to make everyone (including myself & *FI*) happy… not sure its possible but I’ve not given up yet! haha”
and the Bridesmaid or Best Man didn’t reply.
Am I being too sensitive…?
Now I feel super torn/nervous/guilty about getting what I want bc this Bridesmaid or Best Man…
even though she SAYS its my decision, what she said still sounded kinda offensive to me… like I’d purposely make her spend money on something she’ll look bad in just to get what I want… and the whole “wear again” thing bugged me too cuz honestly, who tells a bride that- I was already thinking of that and thats why I chose this cute dress! FURTHERMORE who wears their Bridesmaid or Best Man dress again ANYWAY?
She has given me such a guilty conscious about it that I’m thinking I should pay for the dresses just so that SHE doesn’t complain… the other girls won’t complain cuz they like it but I can’t JUST pay for hers because she’s the squeaky wheel…
I got them on super sale so they’re $60 each.
I COULD pay for them all but I’d much rather spend the $365 on my dream harpist for our ceremony/cocktail hour music and the majority of the girls love the dress so I don’t really think I should because paying for YOUR OWN dress that you’ll keep after the wedding sort of comes with the Bridesmaid territory right?
I mean, thats how I’ve always seen it…
I’d also hate to have to pay for the dresses because I’ve already bought the girls these navy/white polka dot robe gifts that I will personalize with their monogram…
so that would be $60 for their dresses and then $20-$25 for their robe/monogram and they’ll most likely be wearing their own nude shoes that they already have and DIYing their hair down in curls/make up soooooooo what exactly are they paying for anyway?!
I think $60 is pretty damn awesome/reasonable for a silk Ann Taylor cocktail dress!
Sooo yeah what do you guys think…?
a) Make them pay for their own dress cuz its cute, fairly inexpensive & that’s Bridesmaid or Best Man protocol anyway aka have this one Bridesmaid or Best Man just suck it up…
b) Give the girls the option of buying it to keep for $60 or just wearing it, dry cleaning it ($10) and giving it back to me so I can resell it…
c) Pay for all the dresses as their gift and try to sell the Navy robes to another bride…
d) Suck it up, pay for everything and hope they throw you a killer bachelorette party cuz you’ve already spent such a large amount of money on them.
I would love some feedback… I feel guilty but also annoyed that I even feel guilty…
Thank you, bees.
Hope you’re all having a great day!