(Closed) Should I give him another chance?

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
918 posts
Busy bee

@Chuxley89:  it’s really up to you. What’s your gut saying? Id say go with your intuition this time time, not your heart. 

Post # 4
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sounds like a whole bunch of drama.

I think you’re head over heels for this guy so you’re blinded by it.

Take some time to think what you would do if you didn’t love him.

Then, do that.

Post # 5
Member
2080 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

“He thought if we broke up we could still be in each others lives and it would relieve all the pressure we were putting on ourselves.”

 

@Chuxley89: 
Um, couples work through issues together; not just give up by breaking up and expect that the other person would wait for them to come back! That wouldn’t make the issues go away. Apparently, he sounds like he’s got communication issues — or at least the both of you have problems communicating. What you may be feeling is frustration because he’s being difficult/confusing.

So, when times are good, he enjoys being with you. But when shit hits the fan, he leaves. Doesn’t sound like a true manly hero to me! HOWEVER, I have been in a similar situation with my FI (the breaking up frequency bit… men!), but at the time, SO simply wasn’t ready to commit. We’ve broken up twice in the early onset of our relationship. The second time we broke up, I got really pissy at my SO, saying, “You can’t just dictate how a relationship starts and ends! It’s supposed to be mutual and respectful. Talk to me, you dummy, if you think we’ve got a problem! I can listen, y’know!” Then, when we got back together for the third time, it stuck. We still bicker occasionally to this day, but it takes a lot of listening to the other, letting them vent some steam before proceeding into normal conversation and come up with solutions together.

If your SO truly sees you as the One, he could be emotionally attached to you. You’ve got him at your finger tips. :o)

 

Post # 6
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee

It sounds like you are the fall back girl and that is all you will ever be to him.  

Post # 7
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy

You talk like a girl with high levels of self worth. Act like one too is my advice. You don’t need this. You don’t need the insecurity and headaches. There is someone out there who would fight tooth and nail to keep you from being pried from his dead and bloody fingers. You just haven’t met him yet. 

No settling.

Post # 8
Hostess
7568 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

It sounds like you guys are addicted to the drama and chase of breaking up and getting back together. I can see breaking up once but twice..? No dice for me. Like a PP said, couples work through problems. 

Post # 9
Member
2612 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

Sounds a little like one of my EX boyfriends, emphasis on EX. He would always want me back even when he broke up with me. It was always line after line of how I was the one. He once even told me “I was the Rachel to his Ross”….after getting hurt by him twice I was done. I had to completley cut off contact with him because it was the only way he even got the message that I wasn’t hanging around for him anymore.

I feel like the right guy should be one who would never even think of letting you go. Couples do fight and have issues but you need to be able to work through those together. If he can’t deal with the “pressure” and just leaves, waits for things to cool down, then wants you back, then the cycle starts all over again…it’s like you two are doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. Unless one of you has really changed who you are, that probably won’t happen. You shouldn’t give in or settle on anything you really want either just to make things work with him.

 

 

Post # 10
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

sounds like my boat…we are on try number 3 and Im scared to death to marry him.  I say run for the hills girl.. Im miserable and cannot figure out how to get out of the passive aggressive web of mess he has made without making myself look horrible and without losing my entire social circle with the exception of my family.  If you are free-love it.  when you meet the right one, there will be no questions.

Post # 11
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

This man is nothing but drama. If you like a relationship with a lot of roller coaster, take him back. If not, move on. He sounds just like my stupid a hole ex bf

Post # 12
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

You’re blinded by love right now but let me bring u down to reality as gentle as I can. You’re not his one. He wouldn’t put you on this emotional breakup rollercoaster if you were.  You know you deserve better than this, keep moving forward..without him. 

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