Post # 1
The other day my bf and I were at the mall about to leave when he asked if I wouldn’t mind stopping in the jewelry store with him. My heart stopped momentarily, but then he said that he wanted me to see if there were any necklaces or bracelets that I liked. Our two year anniversary is next week and we will be celebrating it on vacation in Mexico, and I had been hoping for a proposal. However, I already knew based on things he said that one would NOT be coming during this trip. Even though I’ve known this for awhile, walking into the jewelry store to look at bracelets/necklaces with him was still a major letdown.
He noticed me eyeing the engagement rings while we were in there and he told me, “no, we’re not looking at those today, but sometime soon”. He told me that he would actually take me to look at rings because he wants me to pick out something I like. That is a step in the right direction at least, because he’s never straight up said this before.
Now, I do want him to get me a ring I will like, but I feel that going to a jewelry store with him to look at and pick out rings will ruin the surprise of the proposal when it does come. We are both horrible with gift giving and always tell each other what we got the other person waaaay earlier than the event, so I am used to ruined surprises. I actually even hate surprises, because I like to know what is going on. But I want this proposal to be special and I do kind of want it to be a random surprise. I think I’d prefer to just go to the jewelry store on my own to try on rings and pick a few out, and then hand him the list with my preferred specifications.
Should I let him do it his way and take me to the jewelry store with him? Or is it ok to just hand him my list and tell him I’d prefer to be surprised? I must admit though, another reason I’d prefer to give him my own list and not go with him is because I’m afraid he won’t take me to a jewelry store for another couple months, and I feel like if I gave him a list it would get the ball rolling sooner!
Post # 3
I think you should definitely go with him and that it won’t ruin the surprise. You could pick out a few different styles together and let him make the final decision.
I know what you mean about wanting to get the ball rolling. If I’ve learning anything as a waiting bee, is that you can’t rush the guy’s timeline. For whatever reason, men need some control in this process and if we try to hurry them, it seems to backfire.
Good luck and try to enjoy the ring shopping process. It can be a lot of fun to do it together.
Post # 4
Here’s my take on it. I went with FH to go look at rings because every single piece of jewlery he bought me before was disgusting. But being the kind hearted person that I am I never told him I didn’t like it. I figured with my engagement ring, it would be something I wear everyday for the rest of my life and I didn’t want something I would hate. Sure enough the first place we go FH shows me what he likes and its HORRIBLE. I was able to get exactly what I wanted. I knew the ring would have to be sized and the diamond changed out so he wouldn’t get it that day. The lady told him it would be at least one month before it would come in. (She of course lied) when he proposed I was completely shocked because he did it about a week later and I didn’t think he had the ring. It was perfect.
Post # 5
I DID! and i was the best thing that we could do. Our first store we went to we found the ring. I was shaking and almost crying when i tried it on. I loved it that much. He told me that he knew that it was the one because of my reaction. He says that he will never forget it.
Post # 6
I made it really clear to FI that I wanted a proposal before I would buy a house with him and we had already started to seriously look (for a house). Once he understood this on the serious note, I’d randomly joke with him about what I wanted. Then I started showing him pictures and telling him exactly what I wanted for the stone. Ultimately he picked it out himself with the guidance I gave him and more than exceeded my expections and still totally surprised me cause it happened a lot sooner than I thought it would.
Post # 7
Go with him – no reason to go alone. Do exactly what you just said; go with him to try some on, give him a list of the ones you like the best, then leave the rest up to him. What’s the difference if he’s there or not when you’re trying them on? Plus don’t forget – this is as special for him as it is for you and most guys like to feel included in the process.. no reason to leave him out if you’re going to go anyway.
Post # 8
It does not ruin the surprise! If anything, it’s more exciting to know you’re getting a ring you absolutely love! I picked out my ring, sat right there while FI bought it, and the proposal was still as wonderful and magical as I’d hoped!
Definitely go shopping with him. Trying on rings was soooo much fun!
Post # 9
I would highly suggest ring shopping with your SO!
My boyfriend and I just recently picked out our engagement ring after much shopping together, and I’m really glad we did it that way! Sure, I know what my ring is going to look like but that is all I know! When and how he is going to propose is still a completely mystery. Plus, I know the ring is exactly what I want which is nice.
Post # 11
Go with him! You might know what you like and have pictures but I think you really need to try the rings on to really tell what you want. You are going to wear this ring for the best of your life so you better like it. And in regards to ruining a surprise, when the man you love is down on one knee asking you to be his wife there is nothing in the entire world that could ruin that moment or lessen the excitement you feel. If you pick out your ring all you know if that he will be proposing which you know whether or not you go with him.
Post # 12
And to reflect what others said – even when I knew he had the ring IN HAND and knew exactly what it looked like – getting proposed to is a moment that cannot be ruined by anything 🙂 Didn’t matter if it wasn’t a ‘surprise’, it couldn’t have been any better! And it WAS a surprise – you never know *exactly* when it’s coming.. so I was completely shocked anyway (1 week after we picked up the ring).
Post # 13
I did and I have the ring of my dreams. It would not have happened unless I had gone with him.
Post # 14
I have friends that have done it both ways (picked it out themselves or hinted at what they want) and it worked out for them. If you have a preference (you’d rather give him a list), make sure that he knows that this is what you want!
My bf knows that I want to pick it out with him, but that I still want a surprise proposal and for him to pay without me there (so it seems more traditional?).
Either way you do it, let him know what your preference is.
Post # 15
Build a ring online to your exact specifications. Bookmark the page. Tell him. Tell him to delete the history when he buys it. You get what you want AND a surprise.
Post # 16
i say go. i went with my mister and had a great time trying on rings. it’s fun. plus, i ended up completely changing my mind on the kind of ring i wanted. i wanted a 3-stone ring in the beginning but after trying on a few, i felt underwhelmed. turns out my heart really does pitter patter for the halo-settings, which was weird because whenever i saw pictures of them, i always thought they were really pretty but just not for me.
if you’re worried about the surprise factor, you can always just look for general styles and let him have the final pick. also, the proposal will be a surprise regardless since you don’t know when it’ll happen. if you do end up going shopping, have fun!