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My lil bro was getting married in june. i just found out he has changed the wedding date because they went on a small break up and now is having the wedding the day after my b day!
i love to celebrate my b day. this year its on a fri. so i like to celebrate my b day for sat and sunday. and to top it off i live in ny and he wants us to fly to nc for his wedding.
i dont know if i should go because i dont want to spend my money on plane tickets and hotel and then hear the wedding is off again and its my b day weekend. and i want to have tons of fun in miami or nyc.
what should i do?
It's your little brothers wedding, don't miss it! You can celebrate your b-day on a different weekend.
Your b-day happens every year, the wedding doesn't
I think that it's important to support your little brother. Maybe wait until closer to the wedding date to make any of the arrangements (just in case). But I think you'll hear a lot of brides who were upset about friends and family missing their wedding because of "other things" and really - you have a birthday every year. This might (hopefully) be your brother's only wedding. I don't think you want to miss it.
Have your birthday celebration the following weekend.
I know how you feel about your birthday. My birthday is my favorite "holiday" too. However, you have a birthday that you can celebrate every year. Your brother only gets married once (hopefully!). Go to his wedding. You can have a birthday bash the week before or after. :)
IMO, your brother's wedding that will happen (hopefully) once is more important than your birthday that happens every year. You can celebrate however you want any other bday. I wouldn't miss my sister's wedding for anything!
God willing, your brother will have one wedding and you'll have many birthdays. Might as well make a small sacrifice. :)
I also think you should go to your little brother's wedding. For me, there wouldn't even be a question, I would go. Family is very important to me, and takes precedence over anything that I would have planned.
Go to the wedding... you can celebrate your birthday every day (so it's okay to miss 1) but your brother only gets married once. It would be kind of selfish to not go...
Its your little brothers wedding - go to it! I think you will regret it if you dont. Your birthday is once a year, he will only get married once in his life. You can always celebrate your birthday the weekend before or the weekend after.
I think you should go unless of course you absolutely can't afford the plane ticket. Your brother will only get married once (hopefully) and you have a birthday every year. Maybe you can celebrate the weekend before or after. i know I wouldnt miss my brothers wedding. I think you will regret it. Good luck!
I would go. But only because I think that you can have just as much fun at your brothers wedding and you can always have a big birthday bash the next weekend. I understand that you enjoy your birthday and want to have a big birthday weekend but I also think that it's unfair to your brother to say that you won't attend his wedding because it's your birthday on the Friday.
wouldn't you be mad if he was thinking this? or one of your other guests? I would be so hurt if a guest didn't come because it interfered with theit birthday. so hurt!
Go to your brothers wedding im sure you would be upset if he did not go to yours.
not sure of your relationship with your little brother, but in my house I would not miss any of my little brother's weddings! Even if it was the day after my birthday....that might be weird though considering my wedding is the day after my birthday...I think you either need to post more details on why you would ask this question in the first place...is the relationship between you and your brother sour? I think you really need to think this over because it can set the tone for your relationship with your brother future wife. You not going to the wedding may be seen as disrespectful and could create a rift.
birthdays are so not as big of a deal as weddings. i'd def go to my brother's wedding!
Go to the wedding....it is his WEDDING...you can celebrate your birthday another time.
Wedding!!! That's a once in a lifetime event (Hopefully), but your b-day comes around every year. Sorry to be blunt, but that's a no-brainer.
umm...go to the wedding. I know it sucks, but weddings are kind of a bigger deal.
gosh! didnt think i was going to get a response like this
i think what is bothering me the most is that my lil bro might flake out again then i just wasted $$ on a plane ticket to nowhere. Even my mother is giving the whole thing the "raised eyebrow" because he called the wedding off and its back on again and my mom doesnt want to waste her $$ too.
as for me having fun @ the wedding. i already know that is not going to happen. he told me its going to be a simple ceremony at a garden or at a church then the reception is @ the church's hall....and no alcohol..which i am fine with. ill just get my drink on when i leave.lol
@ nexus...if my b-day lands on a weekday i have to celebrate my b day till the end of sunday...thats how i celebrate it. lol
as for my wedding it is also going to be small for now. never picture myself having a big wedding...i dont know maybe its just me but if my relatives didnt show up to my wedding it wouldnt bother me at all..i just look at it as more $$ i saved and all that matters is that that future hubby is there..in the end thats whats its all about
You should go to the wedding. It's a much bigger deal than your birthday, sorry if that isn't what you want to hear, but it's true.
Your original post contains two very different issues, and hearing that someone would skip their own brother's wedding to extend their birthday celebration is very shocking. Had you left out the part about wanting to have a long b-day celebration, and only mentioned the flakiness of your brother and concerns about that, I think you would have gotten a very different set of responses.
ummmm I would definitely go to the wedding.
If you are worried about him flaking just put off buying the tickets until you know the wedding is on for sure!
"as for me having fun @ the wedding. i already know that is not going to happen. he told me its going to be a simple ceremony at a garden or at a church then the reception is @ the church's hall....and no alcohol..which i am fine with. ill just get my drink on when i leave.lol"
Um to me this statement kinda feels like you are missing the point of the wedding. If your priority is finding time to get your drink on then I don't know what to say. I feel like you should be attending to support your brother. This is a huge life choice and comittment. Also his future wife is becoming a part of your family.
Also the argument that you are concerned about the price is a little off to me because in the original post you stated you wanted to go to miami or nyc and have tons of fun for your birthday. If you are truly concerned about the price of ticket get insurance on it and even if you don't every airline will allow you to change your ticket for a fee and the difference in the price of a ticket. More than once I have changed a ticket from a more expensive one to a cheaper one and they refunded me the money.
Maybe your family is not close but seriously this is your brother. You should go to the wedding.
I guess I cannot even begin to comprehend how your birthday weekend celebration would be more of a priority than your brother's wedding.
If you were to search through the archives, you'll find MANY... MANY bee's who are crushed that because they pushed their wedding back are not being taken seriously.
He's your bro... support him. He NEEDS your support. Regardless of it it happens or not, why would you inflict damage on him and your relationship with him? So you can "party harder?" If there marriage ends in 2 months or 20 years he will still need your support and if you don't go you will be effectively cutting him out of your life and telling him that your 'birthday' which you've had how many of so far?.... is more important that his new family.
And, NC isn't horrible... Drive out to the outerbanks or do a fun weekend there instead of NY.
I think you should go to the wedding. It's way more important. I was pretty upset my brother and sister-in-law couldn't come to my wedding. I understood why, she was 9 months pregnant, but it is still pretty dis-heartening. If you're worried about the money, then wait until you know for sure what's going on before buying a ticket. But you should def go.
Really? Go to the wedding. You can party another weekend, but this happens only once. If either of my brothers considered not coming to my wedding because it was the day after their birthday, I am not sure I would ever forgive them.
Sorry but you sound incredibly selfish. It's your brother's wedding! If you don't care about your brother then don't go but all of your reasons for not going are not good enough.
If you're worried about the ticket, but it when you KNOW the wedding is for sure, but you shouldn't skip.
I would go to the wedding. You have a birthday every year, and it is possible to have fun celebrating your birthday on a different date (like the next weekend, or the preceding one). However, the wedding is a one-time thing, and you can't really move its celebration around. Go to the wedding, try to have fun, and try not to feel bitter about the fact that he moved it right next to your birthday.
Go to the wedding. If my brother said he wasn't coming to my wedding b/c he a) didn't trust me to actually have it, or b) wanted to celebrate his birthday, that would be a cause for some serious family drama. Seriously. Go.
If you are your mom are worried about wasting money on a cancelled event, pay the extra cost now to have a refundable ticket. Then you can use the full value of the ticket for another flight if it is cancelled. Or wait until the last minute to buy a ticket.
I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around the idea that this wedding is in any way about you and how much fun YOU would have and whether it would interfere with YOUR birthday. He's your brother, he's family, and this is a huge day in his life, a day that you, as his sister should want to share with him. I'm trying to keep my Wedding Bee hat on here, because this is the kindest, most supportive group I've ever been a part of and I want to honor that, but I'm having a hard time. I'm frankly shocked that you wrote any of what you did, because it's all selfish and self centered, and you seem blithely unaware of it, to boot. You may not have a ton of fun, but that shouldn't really matter. And he may change the wedding date again or postpone (though from what you said, he's done this once, as have a lot of Bees, and I think they would be offended to hear that you think this means they'll never really get married), but even when plane tickets aren't refundable, they're usually transferable, and you can switch the ticket and fly to Vegas for a fun weekend with your friends. You'll figure it out. And it won't be nearly as big a deal for you to do that, as it would be devastating for your little brother if something happened to his relationship. Be supportive, be loving, be kind, and you will have many more rewards than a weekend of celebrating your birthday can bring you.
Go to the wedding. It doesn't matter if you don't think it's going to be TONS of fun but you should be there to support your brother.
In the worst case, if he happens to "flake" again as you stated you can exchange your ticket to go somewhere fun at another time and have a belated birthday celebration.
I don't like or get along with my brother but I'd NEVER consider having a birthday celebration (that I have every year) instaed of going to his wedding, whether it be his first, third, or tenth.
I would have thought this is painfully obvious - go to the wedding. It's NOT about getting your drink on - I think you can survive a weekend without that, right? It's about being there for your brother on one of the most important days of his life.
Your second post doesn't really make your case either: "if my b-day lands on a weekday i have to celebrate my b day till the end of sunday...thats how i celebrate it. lol"
You don't HAVE to celebrate it til sunday. You would prefer to do it, and I think that's fine. But you have an event that is like a hundred times more important than your "birthday weekend". It's really not about you, but about him. So give him the respect of attending his wedding.
If you are really worried about him canceling, there are a ton of ways to get around that, like booking your plane later or buying a refundable ticket.
Yeah, I'm also in the "go to the wedding" camp. If you and your friends had already made plans and booked tickets for your b-day weekend, that would be different, but it doesn't sound like you've gotten that far. I get being disappointed that your ideas for your b-day weekend won't work out, and not wanting to buy a ticket to a wedding that might get cancelled, but skipping your brother's wedding to "get your drink on" is going to cause way more family drama than it's worth.
Couldn't you do a b-day trip on another weekend? Yeah, it's not your "real" birthday, but it's still a fun weekend.
ok i could be selfish at times, but who isnt.
This is the back story..my lil bro and i are not close at all. you can say we are complete strangers. I am even shocked at the fact that he invited his imediate family.
He's my bother but it just feels like i just got invited to a friend's friend's wedding.
All i am concern is about is wasting my time planning the flight, where to stay, rent a car..then find out he calls off the wedding. sorry, im going to be sort of pissed because i could of been planning my b day fun. i dont find staying in the middle of nowhere in nc and seeing my lil bro pissed off as a fun b day! as for me being there for him (if for god forbid that would happen) thats not going to happen because he has pride so other family members tell me, hes going to want to deal with it on his own.
as for me celebrating my b day the following week. thats like telling you to celebrate your baby's first b day next week, or grandmom's 100th b day next week or even xmas next week. its not the same and that moment is missed. Sorry I like to celbrate my b day like its my last & i c it as u only have 1 life to live..so live it up.
I can't even imagine how incredibly hurt I would be if my sister told me she wasn't coming to my wedding because it fell on the weekend of her birthday and she'd be too busy partying. Just sayin'.
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