(Closed) Should I go wedding dress shopping without my mom and sister?

posted 4 years ago in Dress
  • poll: Should I go wedding dress shopping without my mom and sister?
    Yes, go with just your friend : (42 votes)
    76 %
    No, go with your friend, mom, and sister : (10 votes)
    18 %
    Other I'll explain... : (3 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    75 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 1993

    I went by myself because I wanted to gauge how only I felt in the dress, not how other people perceived me. You know on Say Yes to the Dress when the bride loves a dress but her sister is like a total biotch about it and it wrecks her day? Yeah, I didn’t want any of that criticism, and you’re wise for wanting to go without it as well.

    You don’t have to keep it a secret from your mom and sister, but you by no means have to invite them. I would just go and say you stumbled upon a really great dress when you were casually looking for BM dresses with your friend. If they really care, it’s because they’re looking for something to be upset about. It’s your dress and they shouldn’t take it personally. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Will you be sad if they aren’t there when you find your dream dress? Will you ever look back and think ‘aw, I wish I had seen my moms reaction when I tried on my dress’? If so, invite them. Ignore your sister.

    If not, go with your friend and have a blast!

    Post # 5
    Member
    165 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think you should judge the dress you try on before leaving the changing room, decide how you feel and then block out others judgement. Just listen to the judgement you trust.
    Or tell your family you don’t want negative opinions from them, because it makes it hard to make the decision.

    My sister was verrrry judgemental and harsh on all the dressed I liked. & she was also the biggest fan of my least favorite dress. My dressing room didnt have a mirror so I was really sad I didnt get to make my own opinion before coming out and hearing “ohhh that one is perfect” or “that looks weird” “Nope its not this one”
    At the end of the day I went with what I wanted and listened to my mom since she was the only one making sure I got what I wanted and not what she wanted. My sister didnt like my dress and made fun of part of it until I bought it and she saw it altered for me.

     

    Post # 6
    Hostess
    11335 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @Lily_of_the_valley: Go with your friend and if you find your dress take your Mum and sis back afterwards

    Post # 7
    Member
    42 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @Lily_of_the_valley:  I brought my sister because she has a critical eye, but she also has very strong opionions and ideas on what I should do/wear for my wedding so it became a little conflicting. My mother doesn’t really have much opinion about wedding dresses because she’s used to shopping for Sarees (we’re indian). Next time, i’m bringing a bridesmaid.

    Post # 9
    Member
    388 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @CatyLady:  +1

    I wouldn’t take anyone that is going to be critical, even if it is your sister.  This should be a fun day for you.  It can be confusing enough to decide on a dress, not to mention if someone is being judgemental on top of it.

    Post # 10
    Member
    680 posts
    Busy bee

    Bring all three and let them know ahead of time that you want constructive criticism and not negative or unhepful comments. Your mom and sister might be hurt that you chose a friend over them since this is often a mother/sister/daughter thing for many people. A relative of mine took her FSIL and friend to get her dress and her mother was totally heartbroken when she found out. It was sad.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1332 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I did a couple with my mom and friends and it was a mess.  I later just went with FI since I really only cared about his opinion and my own and did not need a bunch of different people yapping in my ear.  It worked out well and by the end we both got really good at explaining what I was looking for and so forth.  He was actually a great help and I could not have done it without him.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2516 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    you don’t need to have anyone there who is going to be negative. just go with your friend.

    Post # 13
    Member
    7463 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Take your friend. Once you have decided on a dress, circle back and do it with you mom and sis (if you still feel like doing it at that time).

    Post # 14
    Member
    98 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Go with just your friend.  I didn’t take my mom dress shopping with me (I don’t have a sister) – it wasn’t anything against her, it was just more convenient to go with my friend who lives close by.  I picked a dress, and showed my mom the pics – she was happy for me.  It wasn’t a big deal at all.

    Post # 15
    Member
    750 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Hmm, I think generally the ladies that want to go with you just want the experience of seeing you in dresses. That being said, I would feel really bad for my best friend and my sister if they weren’t there when I tried on dresses for the first time, because they have both expressed a desire to. Maybe your mother and sister wouldn’t want to go again? I think you should figure out if it would be important to your mother and your sister. They are obviously important to you.

    However, if you think it won’t be that big of a deal, then I think going with your friend is fine. Just snap a photo or two for the mom & sis.

    Post # 16
    Member
    4691 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Go with just your friend. 

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