Weddingbee boards

So, I was sitting on the couch after talking/arguing on the phone with my fiance and not coming to an agreement about going over our wedding budget, when all of a sudden I had a great envisionment about getting married, but with a guest list of 12.

So here is what changed my mind about having a small private wedding instead of a big one that would get us $2,000 over our budget.

.....My fiance and I have a very tight budget of $12 thousand for our wedding of 200 to 250 guests and $3 thousand for our honeymoon. I found an event planner who said she could organize our whole wedding for $11 thousand. This includes an hacienda where the reception would take place,food, decoration, silverware, tequila, cake, dj, mariachi, band, horse carriage, limosine, video/photo, ceremony, invitations, security, bartender and clean-up...I know this sounds like an awesome deal and it is. The problem is that we would have $1,000 left to spend, but we already bought our rings which cost $1,000 for both. And we would also have to buy our attire and also spend more money on beauty and beer. So after doing calculations, I realized we where gonna spend $17,000 on the wedding (including honeymonn). My fiance was gonna pay $14,000 and his parents were gonna gift him 4 thousand. This is 18 thousand total. So after our wedding and honeymoon, we would be left with $1,000. To me it does not make sense to spend all this money on a wedding and then not have any money for furniture or for a place to live. Or a car, since he has one car and I don't own any cars. I use my parents car.

I tried many things to get the price down, such as choose Fri. or Sun., or cut our guest list. Which is pretty much impossible since the guest list is %100 family and 65% being his family. He is not willing to cut the guest list. He is also not willing to do other things to bring the cost down. We also negotiated with the event planner and she did bring down the price a bit, but mostly she added in extra things like the horse carriage and the band. My fiance and I agree that it would be very hard for us to find someone else who would give us so much for our wedding and at such low price.

Like i was saying earlier, I was sitting on the couch when I thought, well the most important thing to me is that we get married and that the most important people in our life are there, so why not still get married at the church and still have photo and video and limosine, but just have our parents and sibilings at our wedding. I can get the dress that I want and i can still have my mariachi, and I can have my beautiful cake and I can have food, but for just 12 people. Maybe I can go to a ranch or a golf course and have a large table set up for us and have great food at $22 per person. I can for sure afford this. And i can also have my dream honeymoon.  Also, after coming back from our honeymoon, I plan to have a BBQ at a park and we can invite all our family and we would spend about $1,000 and have about 8 or 9 thousand dollars left. Now maybe, my fiances parents will no longer give him the $4 thousand, but even so we still have about 4 thousand left, compared to the $1,000 we'd have left if we went with the $17,000 wedding.

I am not sure if my vision can even come true. Can this actually be done? Would i have to rent the whole ranch or would i just have to pay a small fee? Can I actaully go to a golf course and say that I would like to have some tables put out for a wedding reception of 12 and hire mariachi to play for us while we dine? Or is this too good to be true?

In Mexican culture, when people get married, they usually have padrinos, which is when the couple basically asks a cousin or uncle if they will help pay for the wedding. for example padrinos of music would help pay for music. They can give any amount of money they wish. Also, usually there is a part in the wedding where people dance with the bride or groom and they attach bills to their clothing. It can be any amount, such as $1 or $20. We were planning to do this in our wedding, but honestly I don't think that this would add up to the amount we saved if we went with the 12 guest wedding.

Also, I would love to invite a few more people, but I cannot because then I would have to invite everyone. I can't invite my faveorite cousins, because then I would have to invite my aunt and uncle (their parents). And then it would not be fair for my other aunts and uncles and cousins.

So does my vision sound realistic? Which route should I go with?

P.s. I told my fiance and my parents about the idea and they both liked it. Finally my fiance and I were able to agree on something!!!

Looking at it from a purely logical standpoint and casting emotions aside, an intimate wedding with immediate family makes the most sense.  But we all know that wedding planning isn't just logical -- it is full of emotion and there are other factors to consider that are not so black and white.  

Deep down, are you truly excited about the prospect of an intimate wedding with a BBQ bash down the road?  Or are you trying to convince yourself it is a good idea because of the savings?  If it would truly make you, your fiance, and your family happy, then by all means go for it!  It sounds like you could get everything you want -- a beautiful wedding, a honeymoon, a party for your whole family, and money in the bank!  Planning would be much less stressful too!